You should have your "raw" field notes from your first field site visit, and now it is time to take the next step and convert those raw field notes into revised narrative form. Using your initial observations and comments/reactions as a basis to expand and embellish in terms of vividness, scenic description, character development, details, and complexity, write a narrative of 300-800 words.
Directions:
*Convert your raw field notes into a narrative of between 300-800 words.
*Write in present tense--as if the event is happening right now as you are writing it and your audience is reading it.
*This is a first revision, so I am not overly strict about punctuation and grammar unless it impedes reader comprehension.
*Have a title for the revised version--be creative
Sample heading for Revised Field Notes:
Marco McDougal
ENC 1101-0M04
TR--9:00am-10:15am
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 18, 2013
7:00P.M., Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Room 206, UCF Student Union
Young Democrats/Republicans
Organizing Meeting for April Debate
They Started Throwing Shoes:
Notes on a Joint Meeting of Young Democrats and Republicans
This is where you actually begin writing your revised notes. Be sure to use proper formatting as referenced above. Be sure to generate logical paragraph breaks in your narrative and complete a spell check before loading your narrative to the blog.
Don't think of this as something you will be sending to The New Yorker. What I want to see is a solidly written narrative (story telling) version of your raw field notes. So long as the sentences are complete, comprehensible, and represent an earnest attempt to recreate accurately your impressions, then you are in the ball park. Sloppy, hasty, and partially complete work will result in commensurate grade compensation for this blog posting.
This blog posting is due before the close of Thursday, March 28th (which means before 11:59pm).
If you have any questions about this assignment, please send me an email.
Kyra Nori
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-0M03
TR--9:00am-10:15am
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 25, 2013
1:55P.M., Saturday, March 23, 2013
4355 West Lake Mary Blvd, Lake Mary FL, 3779
Jeremiah’s Italian Ice Lake Mary
Opening shift
How To Run a Store:
Notes on the everyday operations of Jeremiah’s Italian Ice
The first thing I hear when I walk into the Lake Mary Jeremiah’s is the sound of the music playing. The music playing is a local radio station, but it just depends on what employee is working, the music can range from underground rap to country. The other sound I hear is the ice cream machine which in my opinion sounds like an air conditioning vent blowing out air at a mile a minute. The smell of the store is very distinct depending on my location inside. The front of the store smells like fresh air from having the windows open as well as ice cream. However, once I start moving to the back of the store, the smell starts to turn into a strong smelling bleach from cleaning.
The two employees working are Mckenzie and Marie. Mckenzie is the Assistant Manager while Marie was just recently hired. Mckenzie’s authority is easily seen as she asks Marie to fill ice cream machines, stock the lids and says “Hey girl, there’s people at the window.” Mckenzie is extremely friendly with customers and seems extremely comfortable in the environment.
Jeremiah’s has a lot of “insider” language includes words such as mashing, ice order, gelati, and schedule request. Mashing is the word for the secret way the ice is prepared, ice order is how the supervisors place the order for the next days ice supply, gelati is a combination of Italian ice and soft serve ice creamed layered in a cup, and schedule request is the sheet the girls use to show their availability and what days they cannot work. All of the girls are wearing a tight Jeremiah’s tank top with a Jeremiah’s jacket and either yoga pants or gym shorts with sneakers or crocs on their feet and the majority of the girls have their hair pulled back to keep it out of their face while cleaning and serving.
As I walk into the back of the store I can see a corkboard with a piece of paper saying “Notification #6” Reading: “Double bag trash cans!!! & Smoothing at night is only useful when you get the ice off the sides!! C’mon ladies!” This is one of the forms of communication used in discourse. Under the notification each employee is expected to initial a paper to let the managers and supervisors know it’s been read and that they’re now held accountable if it happens again.
Jeremiah’s also has a variety of literate practices. Looking around I can see three checklists on the counter reading “Opening Checklist”, “Closing Checklist”, and “Side work Checklist.” Each checklist outlines exactly what is to be done to open the store, close the store, as well as tasks to do throughout the day to guarantee the store is being kept clean and well stocked. I notice the checklist also has a line next to it where girls initial in order to ensure the task gets done and management knows who did it.
Hi Kyra,
DeleteYour opening paragraph does well in introducing the environment of the Italian Ice place, but I want specific details about the particular moment you are writing about. For example, in your opening you state that there is often different music playing at the store depending on who is working. Instead of telling the audience about what happens sometimes, I want you to clearly SHOW what is happening at the store in this moment. Let us hear what is playing and let us see what is going on.
The sights and smells of the place are rendered nicely though.
As your piece develops, you start talking about insider language, but I want you to show some insider language from you observation that allows you to keep the immediacy of the moment. Instead of saying there is a lot of insider language (telling), show what is said that represents insider language in a particular moment of your observation.
Showing rather than telling will make this piece more vivid, but remember, this is an opening draft- one that you will continue to revise as you draft the project.
Overall- this is a pretty solid first crack at it.
Brandon Lee
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-0M04
TR--9:00am-10:15am
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 26, 2013
5:00P.M., Friday, March 22, 2013
1016 Savage Ct, Longwood FL 32750
Status Design
Going to shop to pay for stereo
Every time I walk into Status Automotive, they always have all sorts of projects going on. At this shop they install aftermarket products to vehicles, performance products, install lifts, and do regular maintenance on vehicles. The aftermarket products can range from simple items such as HID headlight kits all the way to fully custom sound systems. When I walked in through the large shop door the first thing I notice is a scion getting a full makeover. One of the main workers there Joe was installing a lot of new parts on this car. The sound system is what caught my attention the most because I am currently designing my own. I noticed the two 12" subwoofers in the rear mounted inside a box made by Joe along with new component speakers and tweeters. He ran all new wiring throughout the vehicle for the system to the amp in order to ensure proper sound quality and function. I arrived late into the project and very shortly after I arrived he finished installing the whole system. Once he finished he tried it out and the system had very good sound quality. I was able to hear the highs from the tweeters, the midrange from the components, and feel the bass from the subs in the trunk. Other aspects I noticed about this car were new wheels and an air intake. After I took a few more looks at the car I saw enough and decided I should continue on with my observations for field notes.
Next I took a chair and sat in the middle of the shop listening to all the different sounds and payed attention to all the different projects going on. The shop floor was dirty from all of the vehicles coming in and out throughout the day. The storage racks on the walls had all sorts of products sitting on them from different projects and installs. I saw several types of exhausts, OEM parts, new wheels and tires, headlights, and much more. One of the interesting observations I noticed was the numerous pocket bikes on the bottom shelf. I had no idea why these were inside the shop and made myself curious. Some of the sounds I could notice where the air tools being used from changing tires and air rachets for taking off as well as putting on new parts. Then every once in awhile I can hear the compressor turn on to fill up the depleted air from the tools. Then I moved away from the work area of the shop and walked through the interior room, then the shop office. I saw Justin, the owner, sitting at his computer looking at vehicle related sites ordering parts and talking to companies on the phone. His wife was in there going over files about ordered parts, parts that need to be ordered, and due dates for vehicles. I sat down on the couch in the lobby and continued on with my observations for my raw field notes. I watched the various customers walk through the front door and listed to the different jobs they wanted done on their vehicles.
Hi Brandon,
DeleteYou start off and use a general opening about every time I...; I want you to stay in the particular moment you are writing about. Be in the moment. I walk into Status Automotive and notice the smell of fresh grease and various cars in many states of repair. Out front, the lead mechanic looks under the cylinder of a big block V-8 engine that hangs from a chain.
You continue on telling the reader what happened when you walked around the shop. Instead I want you to stay in present tense and let the power of the moment come through.
Once you get into detailing the sound system, you are doing more of what I want you to do (which is showing rather than telling).
Once you move it to present tense all the way through and bring forward the immediacy of this place, you will really be in position to kill it. Stay active in present tense and SHOW rather than tell.
This is a pretty solid effort for a first go.
Allison Serafine
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-0M06
Thr 1:30 pm-2:45pm
Revised Field Note Assignment
March 28, 2013
7:30 am, Friday, March 22, 2013
Walt Disney World Magic Kingdom
Walt Disney Entertainment
Working Hard, or Hardly Working?
Notes on the Internal Relationships of Employees
The sun is creeping up on the horizon. The Magic Kingdom in Orlando, Florida’s Walt Disney World Resort is slowly coming to life as Cast Members flow in from every direction. Employees are climbing out of the busses that have carried them from the parking lot and as the trample off the bus their eager and fast-paced walk takes over, they all bid farewell to their bus mates and head toward their designated posts for the day. I find my place in the small ten-by-ten room on one of the benches along the walls, in the corner so that I can see in all directions perfectly. The bright florescent lights are shining down on the room and the two boards with fliers and announcements; one on the current and upcoming events within the Resort and another made and filled by Cast Members, including anything from apartment listings to small business cards and offers.
Soon, a woman walks in; I will call her Girl #1 as I was not able to catch her name. She seems to be in her mid-twenties and is donning her plain white t-shirt and black sweatpants that are her “uniform” for the time being. Also, she carries her bag that holds enough activities and reading material to keep her occupied for as long as she may be on the clock sitting in this room, waiting for assignment. Girl #1 is casual in her demeanor; she is clearly used to this morning routine. A woman in passing through the room and the two greet each other kindly, saying “they are ready for another day of making magic” and the woman continues on her way. Now a man enters the room. He is also wearing a plain white t-shirt and black shorts instead of pants, and he too appears to be in his mid-twenties and also has a bag, smaller than Girl #1’s, and he is clearly a “spare” today as well. The two know each other as they hardly say hello before entering into a conversation, I assume he too is a regular in this routine. Their conversation is off like a race horse, they are discussing last night’s events and the drama that it held. I am unaware of details as they are using very informal language and “inside” coding so that others won’t be able to know more than they would like them too. As they settle in to their benches they quiet down and are ready to start their day.
Fast-forward to 3:30 pm of the same day, same location. A manager has just walked in to the “spare room” and the casual and cool conversation among employees almost immediately ceases. The manager is very peppy and chipper as he issues a “hey everyone! How are things going in here?!”, only to be offered a quick and dull response of “good” from employees. There is no disdain between the two parties, the employees and managers, but there is tension. The manager talks to a girl that he clearly knows better than the rest. She is at ease and gives him positive feedback on her day and he the same, and yet the conversation is much more formal than it is between same-level Cast Members. While the manager continues to try to be informal with the others they continue to reply formally, creating a clear divide between the groups. Soon, he leaves and the conversation of the break room resume as before.
Allison,
DeleteYou have done an excellent job of rendering the moments you observed as vivid and in-the-moment experiences. One major success of your piece lies in how much you show rather than tell. You do a particularly excellent job of showing in the opening paragraph where you start your day.
The details you deliver here show an interesting and dynamic view of some key moments. Though this project is far from done, you are well on your way.
Tara Gray
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-OM06
March 26, 2013
5:30–7:00PM
Catholic Student Center
12140 Collegiate Way
Catholic Campus Ministry at UCF
An evening of faith, friends, and food
Catholic Campus Ministry Mass and Meal
I show up to where the mass is being help, which I assumed would be a church, but to my surprise I am pulling into the parking lot of a strip mall. The church is actually in the strip mall. As I am walking into the building, I see that it is very, very small compared to the church I am used to going to. I notice that there is gaudy, traditional Catholic artwork all over the walls. I walk in a little further to see a lady handing out nametags, thinking to myself maybe every week they have a lot of new people come to the mass? Anyways, I accept a nametag and I move on to find Crisley, the president of CCM. She is in deep conversation with someone about what to do if the food doesn’t show up. I listen for a couple seconds, and they both seem to be quite panicked about it. I politely introduce myself to her then walk to the small seating area to observe the group. I notice that there are no pews here like a normal Catholic Church would have, just rows of uncomfortable, metal folding chairs. I am looking at everyone, about 50 to 75 people, but they are all standing in small groups talking amongst themselves. There isn’t really interaction between the community as whole yet. From what I can hear, the groups are all talking about upcoming event in the community or things that happened to them throughout the day. As I keep watching, I notice a few kids standing all by themselves. I assume they are the newest members of the group and the reason for the name tags. I see Crisley calling over a group of people that are all wearing CCM shirts and I assume they are the other leaders of the community. They huddle in the back of the room and are having a quick meeting before mass starts. My guess is that they are talking about what to do after mass, since still no food has shown up. A guy announces for everyone to sit down, and all the members sit with the same group they were chatting with when I first arrived. Since the room is small, there are not enough seats for everyone, leaving the leaders and other members to stand in the back. Music starts playing and everyone is now singing, but there were no music sheets handed out so if you don’t have the song memorized, you don’t get to participate in the song. I look around to find the few new members I saw earlier and they are sitting quietly since they do not know the song. A very young priest walks down the center isle and mass officially begins. It is a very traditional service; expect all the hymns are spoken instead of sung which I find odd because I have never been to a church where they speak the hymns. Communion is just starting and another song begins to play. Again, if you do not know the words, you are out of luck and are forced to sit quietly. The mass was very short in comparison to most Catholic masses, it only lasted about 40 minutes. Crisley is walking up to the front to give some announcements. She tells everyone that the group who was supposed to bring food never showed up, so if anyone is interested the community plans to go play putt-putt then go out to dinner instead. She is also talking about events for the rest of the holy week, but all of the other events are at a different church. She finishes talking and everyone stands up and starts talking in what seems to be the same groups they were in before. Everyone hangs around for a while, seeming pretty comfortable around each other, but slowly start to leave and head to play putt-putt. I notice a newcomer leaving by himself, but I am not sure if he is joining the group for the after mass activities. Now only Crisley, the leaders, and a few other members are left and they immediately start cleaning up, folding the chairs, and putting everything away where it belongs. Then everyone leaves, myself included, and their mass and supposed to be meal is over until next week.
Hi Tara,
DeleteThis is an excellent narrative that is loaded with great details about the mass and your reaction to different aspects of how the mass unfolded.
My only complaint here is that I want you to break this up into separate paragraphs.
Though this piece won't be used in its entirety in your ethnography, you have some excellent details here, and portions of this should fit well in your ethnography paper.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteCourtney Williams
ReplyDeleteENC 1101- OMo6
Thr—1:30pm-2:45pm
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 28, 2012
6:45pm, Sunday, March 25, 2013
Kappa Delta Sorority House, Chapter Room
Chapter Meeting
A Lifetime of Sisters
Notes on the everyday operations of Kappa Delta
Walking into the Kappa Delta house makes me feel as if I’m at home, even miles away from my real home. It’s always filled with activity, no matter the time of day, and I can always count on this one place to brighten my day. Walking through the front door I’m immediately hit with a warm scented aroma of vanilla; as I move towards the dinning room the smells change to a mixture of freshly cooked food and in the back hall you can smell the aroma of several different girls perfumes leaking from the bedrooms. Kappa Delta and its members create such a welcoming environment where it comes with ease to kick back and be you. In most environments it would not be okay to walk around in sweatpants and a big tee or fresh out of the gym attire, but in KD no one judges you. I feel more than comfortable with my place in the Kappa Delta house.
Our house mom is always wandering throughout the house. Mama Elle’s duties are to regulate and monitor the activity within the house. She is always welcoming us with her warm personality and occasionally welcoming us with her freshly baked treats.
Kappa Delta communicates just like any other insider community, using their own language and ques. Some of these include consensus, which is a sign of agreement. Kappa Delta is unique to outsiders due to ritualistic values that cannot be expressed outside of Kappa Delta or to outside members.
Kappa Delta also has different literate practices that help with the flow of communication and event planning. Some of these include sign up sheets posted in the back hall of the house where girls can sign up for community service and Pan-Hellenic events. Other literate practices include sign up sheets and checklists in the kitchen, which help regulate the count of girls who need a late plate for a certain meal plan, they missed. Emails are also sent out several times a week from council to help ensure everyone is up to date with important information.
Hi Courtney,
DeleteThe smells and aromas are rendered quite nicely, and in many ways those smells demonstrate this sense of accommodating warmth that your opening paragraph tells of.
There are places where you fall into a mode of delivering a narrative that is general. For example, you mention the house mom, who can often be found wondering throughout the house. I want you to stay in the moment and SHOW rather than tell. Instead of telling me what Mama Elle's duties are, show her doing something.
You go on and tell about the communication practices of the community, but this narrative is about staying present in the moment and bringing the immediacy of the moment to the page. The smell of vanilla, the fresh perfume, and the scents of food in the kitchen are all details that pique the immediacy of the moment, and I want to see more of these details.
This is still a solid first effort (remember- this is a long drafting process, and moving forward, you will have many opportunities to revise and re-visit this text.
Lauren Helinger
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-0M06
3:45- 4:15 P.M.
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 27, 2013
7:00P.M., Monday, March 18, 2013
Kappa Alpha Theta House
Chapter Meeting
A Restless Post-St. Patrick's Chapter:
Notes on a Weekly Chapter Meeting
I walk up to the door of Kappa Alpha Theta with some of my pledge sisters as we pout about being too tired to go to chapter. The door is slightly open so everyone can walk in easily without having to swipe their key and enter the code. When I walk in the sign that usually reads “Welcome to Theta!” says “Happy St. Patty's!” which was a cute little message. There's a few girls in the Bettie Room talking about their weekends and dressed down in jeans and jerseys. There's lots of girls already in the chapter room which is unusual because everyone's generally in the Bettie room or living room. As I kept walking I saw another sorority in our living room getting their composite photos taken. They don't have a house so we lent them our living room to take their pictures, that's why everyone was in the chapter room already. We hang out and talk amongst each other for a few minutes while we wait for them to be done with their pictures. When they leave Olivia announces chapter is about to start and all the active members file into the chapter room while all us new members go hang out in the living room. We were all tired and discussing our St. Patrick's Day adventures. Our supervisor, Kelsey peeps out the window of the door and tells us to quiet down so we don't disturb chapter. Olivia comes out and waves the new members in, we try to file into alphabetical order but it just wasn't working out because girls were missing. We walk in and the chairs are set up awkwardly because they didn't expect the amount of girls that showed up to show up, seeing that it was a Monday chapter. Once we sit down we being talking about our normal chapter business. Many girls aren't paying too close attention and everyone seems restless. Finally Olivia announces we have a visitor and two guys come in with bags of candy to pass out and they tell us about their upcoming event. Everyone is preoccupied with the candy. The boys leave and it is announced that there is another visitor. Two guys from another fraternity came in to discuss their upcoming philanthropy event. He shows shirt proofs and discusses details. Most people are listening but a few are still really distracted by the candy being passed around. They walk out and Alexis announces the new members may leave. We all file out and back into the Bettie room. We're all even more tired than we were going in. All the other girls pour out of the chapter room signaling chapter is officially older, but wait there's a candle pass ceremony. Wooooo. Everyone goes outside and gets in a circle for our candle pass and we all gossip about who we thing it is that got engaged. We finally find out and everyone ooh's and aww's at the beautiful ring. Now it is officially time to leave and we all grab our things and head off back to our homes.
Hi Lauren,
DeleteYour piece does a pretty solid job of rendering a chapter meeting, and you do well in delivering details to keep the narrative moving. There are a few places where perhaps showing some specific conversations between the different members (other than saying there is talking about St. Patrick's day adventures, you could show what someone said or give a spat of a conversation you overheard).
Paragraph breaks will also help, but overall, this is a pretty solid effort.
Adam Tran
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-0M04
5:00-7:00
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 15, 2013
5:00 P.M., Friday, March 15, 2013
West Orange Soccer Complex
Winter Garden, Florida
Soccer Practice for various age groups
Practice Makes Perfect:
Notes on Soccer Athletes of All Ages As They Train
Upon arriving at the West Orange Soccer Complex around 5:00 p.m., I take my seat on a bench near the soccer fields. Looking around me, I see that the weather is quite nice, not too hot and not too cold, with a slight breeze. This amazing weather honestly made me just want to put my cleats on and go play myself. Scanning the environment around me, I see many people, objects, and facilities.
Turning to my left, I realize that a child is sitting next to me, frantically trying to put on his cleats. His friends are rushing him, as they are eager to begin playing a game. I suddenly hear laughter behind me and realize that there is a playground near the field. Parents are supervising their children as they play on the playground and run around laughing, smiling, and enjoying themselves. There are also two bathrooms, one located on the south side of the complex, and one right in the middle of the complex.
“Water break!” The athletes halt their gameplay and make their way toward the water that is provided by the facility. They all hydrate themselves, as their bodies are craving for it. There are multiple fields, all with athletes of different ages, genders, and races. Observing each of the fields in detail, I notice many differences between the players. Each field has players with their own personality and style of play.
The first field has young boys, most likely around the age of 8-9. They seem extremely happy and are thoroughly enjoying themselves. Practice is filled with laughter, high-pitched voices, and happiness. The coach is also aware that he is coaching young children. Therefore, he must act and speak in an appropriate manner. He is very encouraging and helpful to his players.
(Continued)
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting watching the young men play, who are around the age of 17-18. Their dialogue is lower in pitch, and their choice of words were oftentimes more vulgar. They too laugh while at practice, but mostly at jokes that were said during water break. While practicing, they seemed to be more about business. They were serious and more focused on better improving themselves, rather than focusing on having a fun time. Although I could see that they were extremely serious, I could also see that they were having fun doing so. The gameplay itself was much more intense. There was more rough contact and yelling. The yelling did not only come from the players, but from the coach as well. This coach also understood that his players were teenagers, and spoke to them in a manner that would get through to them.
It seemed like the difference in the young boys and the young men was much more drastic than the difference between the women and girls. Of course, there were many differences between them. However, they seemed more alike than different. They overall seemed happy and having a good time. They were serious while playing but it appeared as if they laughed and joked around more.
Each player had the same practice uniform, most likely issued by the soccer club. However, I realized that there were numerous types of cleats that the players wore. There were many different styles, brands, and colors. Some were bright, while others were more plain and simple. The players seemed to wear cleats that matched their personality and was a way of expressing themselves.
A father sat down next to me, acting as a second coach and instructing his child on what to do to improve his game. I suddenly realized that some players were in uniform, but not participating in practice. These players were injured and came to practice for whatever reason. They may want to support their team, want to make sure they aren’t missing anything important, or just plain bored and didn’t have anything better to do.
As I was preparing to leave to head home, I saw new faces. These new faces were players who were getting ready for their own practice, which preceded the ones I just watched. They began to warm up and stretch, preparing for a nice and fun soccer practice.
Adam,
DeleteThere are many great details in this piece, and I was particularly interested in the observation you made about the differences between ages among boys and girls.
I would have liked to hear some of the actual spoken dialogue (especially comments from coaches to players) or perhaps showing what the father said to the son as well.
Even without the actual dialogue, you have delivered a pretty solid narrative piece.
Matt Concelmo
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-oM06
TR – 1:30pm – 2:45pm
Revised Field Notes Assignment
9:00A.M. Friday, March 22, 2013
Complete Network Solutions, Inc.
Gainesville, Florida
A Look Inside the World of Structured Cabling Systems
As I step into the large building of Complete Network Solutions, Inc. in Gainesville Florida, the chimes of bells and a greeting from Lori, the company’s secretary, welcome me. She buzzes me through the door and I venture my way through the hallway. I take my first right and witness a large room with a long, majestic table with numerous leather chairs at it. This is the meeting room where vendors and customers meet to discuss business. A bigger, more expensive chair lies at the head of the table, where the owner sits. With the press of a button, a huge projection screen slowly reveals itself at the opposite end of the room. Photographs in large frames of jobsites cover the walls.
I continue through the building, and head past the secretary’s office towards another set of offices. On my way I notice a bevy of framed fishing photos, all of which are of the owner his and employees. I take the next right following the photos, and observe a worker punching in numbers on a computer program. The program is called AutoCAD and is used to create blueprints to tell the workers on the jobsite where to pull and drop cables. Around the computer are various networking equipment such as label makers and cable testers, as well as miscellaneous tools like scissors and screwdrivers. Two more offices are attached to this room, and in each office is a man talking on a phone and doing work on their computers. The use of Nextel phones is prevalent throughout the office, seemingly because they are more efficient than calling or texting, and provides a fast way to relay an important message quickly.
The next office I enter is the owner’s. Compared to the others, this office is much more nicer. A nice green-patterned wallpaper covers the wall, with golf and Gator memorabilia scattered throughout. A putting green with a putter lay parallel to the wall. As I peer behind the desk, I see numerous filing cabinets and books. Possibly the most important item in the room, however, was the Registered Communications Distributer Designer (RCDD) certification on the wall.
After exploring the offices, I make my way out a side door and into a spacious garage with concrete floors. To my left are stairs that lead up to a second floor of the garage. On the first floor, spools of cable are lined against the wall. Every single cable spool varied in color, from black and blue to yellow and white. I walk up the stairs in the garage to see even more cable, but this time they are in boxed. The boxes read the type of cable that it holds: CAT5, CAT5e, CAT6, etc. Next to the boxes of cable are shelves that have a multitude of cable and wiring accessories, such as faceplates and jacks from brands like Ortronics and Panduit.
Everyone I met at Complete Network Solutions, Inc. presented himself or herself to me with the upmost respect. Interactions between co-workers were happy and allowed for a stress-free work zone.
Your narrative is loaded with concise sensory descriptions that really bring the observation to the page. The walls with the fishing photos are rendered quite nicely, and the ambiance of the workspace is captured quite nicely.
DeleteYou have done quite well in rendering this observation. The details are precise and on point, and you allow your reader to make inferences from what you show.
Overall- well done.
Alfredo Jaime Vega
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-0M04
TR--9:00AM-10:15AM
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 18, 2013
Noon, Sunday, March 24th, 2013
Central Florida Racing Complex
Drift Event
"Why you say? Because race car!"
Close your eyes… take a deep breath. What do you smell? Indeed, it is the smell of burnt rubber. The friction between asphalt and tire only increases ever more as the cars skid merrily across the concrete as if the track emulated a waxy-sliding surface before any single/tandem drift runs. Young people and old people alike congregate, under the sun, amidst the unpredictability of our Florida weather, simply for their passions of automobiles and mechanics. Asides from the loud noises of popping exhausts and rubber screeching, you can here the bystanders making comments about the cars, and even the unsettling words "man I wished he crashed."
Now, there's a longstanding association between mechanics in general and the male gender, but this is no men's only organization. The diversity is great including both male and female enthusiasts AND mechanics. As with the typical sport, included also is the typical youth age group, usually teens and high schoolers. Those are just small pieces of what a person would usually hear. In a dialogue I over heard, I heard two people debating over what engine a certain vehicle had just by the sound of the motor. Speaking of motors, I notice a preference for Japanese-make rear wheel drive vehicles for builds and projects. A popular choice for this community would be Nissan rear-wheel-drive sport coupés. I saw many Nissan 240SX but you catch sights of Mazdas, BMWs; hell, you might get a glimpse of the big-block American muscle cars… speaking of engines… These people absolutely love their cars, it's their life, their love, their dream. Everything.
With that said, obviously these people must be mechanically-inclined to do the great modifications that make their cars figure-skate around the tarmac. you can hear the intimate details of people's future projects. The sloppiness, the precision, language that would throw you off at first listen. Camshaft, crankshaft, pistons, valves, etc, that sounds rather intimidating to the inexperienced newcomer. With mention of modifications I'd like to also add that a popular modification is "boosting" a car.
Boosting involves the installation of a turbocharger in the engine for more power output. It's a popular lexicon regularly used in person and online as well. Another highlight is the presence of this community within the internet. There are many internet forums and social media sites like Facebook where many drift enthusiasts and auto enthusiasts alike congregate in. It also acts as a very powerful tool when it comes to assistance or guidance with a project from what I have seen. One thing I like to point out as well is also a general dislike towards "ricers." These ricers are usually Japanese cars and a lot of them have a tendency to be Honda Civics. These atrocities involve plastering of aftermarket parts, parts that do nothing to engine performance, onto the car creating a horrific creation that is both an eye sore and also painful to listen to. Why painful? One can attribute that to the stupid exhaust that makes the car sound like it's going 70 when in reality a lawnmower is beating it. Looking at some I see driving around the event, I'm happy I came for the drifting instead.
Wait, what? Understeer? Oversteer?! What the hell is that!?
Alfredo,
DeleteYou undoubtedly have some great writing skills, and I am particularly impressed with your unique display of syntax and diction. The opening of your piece does an excellent job of bringing about the immediacy of the moment. The smell of rubber and the sounds of the cars and wheels spinning on asphalt. Then you go into an expository mode (and this is done quite well too, but then you don't really return to the immediacy of the present moment and the situation of watching the race or the event (not really sure which it is).
I'd like to see you blend both styles a bit more; let yourself go on tangents of expository rants, but then ground those tangents in the immediacy of the moment.
Overall- this is interesting.
Nicholas Perez de la Mesa
ReplyDeleteENC1101-0m06
As I stepped into Sheridan Lumber all I could smell is the constant musk of the lumberyard,and all I can hear is the constant clamour of Spanish mixed with the planar sander shaving a two by four. When I looked to the left I see Raul the head carpenter cutting down a three foot by seven foot door down and tracing his plans to put a custom moulding on the door. In the lumberyard most of the communication is done in Spanish and is generally verbal with the occaisional sales ticket that has instructions on it. Then after leaving warehouse four I head over to Frank Sr.’s office who is also the founder/CEO to see if I could leave the store to see how to the lumber is cut at an off site. After passing the counter on my way to Frank’s office I noticed the four names posted on the wall that show pictures of the four managers, Will, Matt, Juan, Mike, and Frank Jr. this posting I believe showed the hierarchy of the employees, with all of the regular employees headed by these four mangers and at the top of course is again Frank Sr.
Hi Nick,
DeleteYou have done well in rendering some interesting moments from the lumber yard. There are places where you can crack this narrative open a bit and reveal a bit more. Let some of the dialogue come to the page (write it in Spanish and then translate it to English).
Let me hear some of the whir of machines and let some more of the critical details stand on the page. For example, you might describe the people who are in the pictures.
Also, what about your heading and your title?
Overall- this is a good start, but more detail will help.
Kristen Keenan
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-0M04
TR— 9:00am-10:15am
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 25, 2013
10:00 A.M. Saturday, March 23, 2013
Jacksonville, FL
OCYS 95/96 G Purple
State Cup Game vs. Fort Lauderdale Select FC 95/96
Kicking and Screaming:
Notes on the Interactions during a State Cup Soccer Game
Walking up to the fields, I notice the gloom almost immediately. Tornado warnings are a possibility later today, meaning a lot of wind and some rain. Many players were approaching the field, some with their parents, some alone, and some with other teammates. Being the first game for both teams, I could feel the intensity circulating. Following the initial warm-up, during which time the referees showed up and the parents got settled, both teams gathered in a huddle of sorts to discuss tactics. Since I’m focusing on observing the OCYS team, I have decided to stay close enough to their bench where I can hear what they are saying in their huddle. I hear Bobby Hurring, the coach, talking to the team in a very authoritative tone. “Watch your off sides, we don’t need that today,” he says, with some of the girls nodding. After Bobby stopped addressing the girls, the goalkeeper Maddi Nordstrom starts to talk, “We’ve got this ladies, be sure to defend together and move well offensively.” It is obvious to me that Maddi is a team leader, as well as being extremely vocal and encouraging. I begin to watch the game that has started. Almost immediately, I begin to hear the “Soccer Language” which is basically a compilation of terms/phrases specific to soccer (some universal in sports). I hear words like “sideline”, “jockey”, “corner kick” and phrases such as “defend as a unit”, “drop it back”, and “capitalize on your opportunities.” As the game progressed and the OCYS team had scored 3 goals to be up 3-0, I notice the interactions between and within the teams had changed. Bobby, who had been standing at the beginning of the game and yelling, now sat down and visibly seemed to be satisfied. On the other hand, the Fort Lauderdale coach was now pacing back and forth, looking stressed and angry. The Fort Lauderdale girls and parents seemed to get feisty and angry. At this point, the OCYS team was now up 4-0. One girl on the Fort Lauderdale just started yelling, “Get off me!” and grabbed Mikaela’s jersey back. The referee broke it up, giving the ball to OCYS, causing uproar from the Fort Lauderdale parents. They began to yell at the referee, degrading his calls and judgment. It always makes me uncomfortable when anyone is nasty to a referee; I see it as a very tough job where someone is always going to be displeased. It was a bit shocking, the level of disrespect the team had for the referee. As the game continued, the players became even nastier. I decide to go to the other side of the field. I notice Vanessa, the team mom, handing out brochures to some college coaches. I ask to see one and find each of the player’s pictures, along with some information about them. This text allows coaches to identify players and find potential members for their college teams; it works like a terminal for coaches to get access to players, which is beneficial for both the coaches and players. There are many forms of communication within the soccer community, this just being one. Finally the game was over. OCYS wins 6-0, earning three points.
Kristen,
DeleteThe immediacy of your moment is there, but it can be amplified if you use the present active voice to carry it. For example, you state in the opening: "Being the first game for both teams, I could feel the intensity circulating." Instead, you might say: I feel the intensity of the players and the impending storm as if they are somehow in concert with one another. Warm-ups begin.
Players huddle and discuss tactics.
The next part of your piece is fantastic. I love how you integrate the actual dialogue from the coach; this is good stuff!
You can cut this line: after Bobby finished talking,...; instead, you should just let Maddi talk next.
I also recommend some paragraph breaks.
Overall- this is a pretty solid effort.
Alfredo Jaime Vega
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-0M04
TR--9:00AM-10:15AM
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 18, 2013
Noon, Sunday, March 24th, 2013
Central Florida Racing Complex
Drift Event
"Why you say? Because race car!"
Close your eyes… take a deep breath. What do you smell? Indeed, it is the smell of burnt rubber. The friction between asphalt and tire only increases ever more as the cars skid merrily across the concrete as if the track emulated a waxy-sliding surface before any single/tandem drift runs. Young people and old people alike congregate, under the sun, amidst the unpredictability of our Florida weather, simply for their passions of automobiles and mechanics. Asides from the loud noises of popping exhausts and rubber screeching, you can here the bystanders making comments about the cars, and even the unsettling words "man I wished he crashed."
Now, there's a longstanding association between mechanics in general and the male gender, but this is no men's only organization. The diversity is great including both male and female enthusiasts AND mechanics. As with the typical sport, included also is the typical youth age group, usually teens and high schoolers. Those are just small pieces of what a person would usually hear. In a dialogue I over heard, I heard two people debating over what engine a certain vehicle had just by the sound of the motor. Speaking of motors, I notice a preference for Japanese-make rear wheel drive vehicles for builds and projects. A popular choice for this community would be Nissan rear-wheel-drive sport coupés. I saw many Nissan 240SX but you catch sights of Mazdas, BMWs; hell, you might get a glimpse of the big-block American muscle cars… speaking of engines… These people absolutely love their cars, it's their life, their love, their dream. Everything.
With that said, obviously these people must be mechanically-inclined to do the great modifications that make their cars figure-skate around the tarmac. you can hear the intimate details of people's future projects. The sloppiness, the precision, language that would throw you off at first listen. Camshaft, crankshaft, pistons, valves, etc, that sounds rather intimidating to the inexperienced newcomer. With mention of modifications I'd like to also add that a popular modification is "boosting" a car.
Boosting involves the installation of a turbocharger in the engine for more power output. It's a popular lexicon regularly used in person and online as well. Another highlight is the presence of this community within the internet. There are many internet forums and social media sites like Facebook where many drift enthusiasts and auto enthusiasts alike congregate in. It also acts as a very powerful tool when it comes to assistance or guidance with a project from what I have seen. One thing I like to point out as well is also a general dislike towards "ricers." These ricers are usually Japanese cars and a lot of them have a tendency to be Honda Civics. These atrocities involve plastering of aftermarket parts, parts that do nothing to engine performance, onto the car creating a horrific creation that is both an eye sore and also painful to listen to. Why painful? One can attribute that to the stupid exhaust that makes the car sound like it's going 70 when in reality a lawnmower is beating it.
Wait, what? Understeer? Oversteer?! What the hell is that!?
Hi Alfredo,
DeletePlease see my comments for your other posting.
Sophie Howard
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-0M03
TR--9:00am-10:15am
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 27, 2013
6:00 P.M., Thursday, March 21, 2013
Training Room, UCF Arena
UCF Athletic Trainers
Patient – Trainer Conversation
Along the vertical line of the leg axis’ anatomical arrangement
I walk along the long hallway towards the Athletic Training room behind the UCF Arena. The first thing I come across, before even opening the door to the Training room, is a big sign: “Put belongings in shelves. Don’t leave anything in front of doors”. Right beneath these words is a picture of a crossed out pair of shoes. This is definitely a sign of order and spruceness. As I enter the room, my initial expectation is fulfilled. The first details I sense are a bright white-greyish tiled floor, stainless treatment benches and an intense smell of cleaning agent rising to my nose. Everything here seems to be perfectly tidy. This place is all about hygiene and cleanliness.
Since I am not a stranger entering my particular field site, I obviously am not affectionately welcomed. With a polite “Hey, how are you?” my first workplace observation begins, if it not already has begun before I entered the room.
After only a few minutes a ‘new’ patient, belonging to the Women’s Volleyball team, comes into the training room and asks for treatment. She hurt herself during practice and now is painful dragging herself towards the trainers. I straight away use this opportunity to watch exactly what is going on. This is my first chance to observe one of many patient-trainer-conversations that day. Once the volleyball player is sitting on the treatment bench, the conversation between the player and her trainer begins. To get a picture of the girl’s injury and overall situation the trainer asks many questions about what had happened in the hall next door, the team’s practice hall. After the girl gives the trainer a detailed description of the occasion, he also asks her to describe and locate the pain she is feeling. It is quite clear that this trainer, through his behavior and confidence, which he exudes, is really experienced in his specialization and therefore is able to pretty quickly give a first diagnose. The girl has “wrenched her hip flexor along the vertical line of the leg axis’ anatomical arrangement”. This is only one example of the used anatomical jargon throughout this single treatment. If my interest for anatomy wasn’t as big and I hadn’t dealt with anatomy before, I probably wouldn’t understand a word of what the trainers are going on about in this room.
Once the trainer, after several checks, is confident about his first diagnose, he begins to deal with the injury.
A huge ice cube is pressures rubbed over the girl’s affected muscle. I can see the pain in her eyes and her screwed up face. This treatment only takes about ten minutes, but I definitely see a relief on the girls’ face when the trainer gives her a sign that she is done. Afterwards, the girl is given a plan of exercises to fix and strengthen her muscle again.
As time goes on, I get the chance to observe many treatment occasions through which I conclude several treatment patterns and procedures.
Through random topics and questions at the beginning of each treatment, the trainers are consistently trying to make their patients feel relaxed and are aiming to avoid new and young patients’ shyness. It is very interesting how, even though these patterns exist, each trainer differs in the way he or she acts and presents him- or herself. I notice how especially new and inexperienced trainers, who are ‘only’ apprentices, are often very unconfident and unsure about how to deal with a particular problem. They are consistently asking their teachers, the actual trainers, for advice and reassure themselves concerning diagnoses or decisions for a special treatment.
ReplyDeleteI now have been observing the trainers’ interaction with their patients for in total 120 min and, as already mentioned, am able to recognize several patterns among the trainer’s treatment process. To make sure I understand everything in my next observation I am going to go over certain terminology which I am experiencing throughout the evening.
Sophie,
DeleteThis narrative is successful for many reasons, but the devil is really in the details. I quite like the opening paragraph. You use a lot of precise detail to show what this place is like. As you move into the conversation, you do well in rendering the technical jargon of the trainer (which was cleverly used as your title). I'd still like to see a bit more of the actual conversation as the ice is being applied and the situation unfolds. You move more towards exposition and explaining what is happening (which can work), but I also want you to bring back the immediacy of the moment too.
Overall- this is pretty good and should serve you well in writing your ethnography paper.
Orane Walters
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-0M03
TR--9:00am-10:15am
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 28, 2013
12:48P.M., Friday, March 22, 2013
4000 Central Florida Blvd, Building #150 Orlando, FL 32816
UCF Police Department, Records Lobby
Honor, Sacrifice, Serve
Notes on an ordinary day at the UCF Police Department
Part 1
As I arrive at the PD, or police department; I realize that the building was rather extremely sanitary as though it had been cleaned at that instant. The building is three stories in height, with a well-made seal in front of the building that says “Honor, Sacrifice, Serve”. Entering the lobby; elevator on the left, UCF creed on the right; that dingy office smell was the first thing I note. There is also a couch in the middle of the room and a telephone with numbers for different branches on the department. After entering the lobby; I am nicely greeted by a faculty member and in order to get access to other sections of the building she directed me to the telephone I noticed earlier where I had to call dispatch.
As I wait for an officer to come down, a group of detectives conversing with each other entered the building all laughing hysterically, with one of them holding a file. They are not in uniforms but still dressed professionally. One detective mentions “a girl who hit a deer then covered it with a blanket”. The same detective then says “10-3” as they all enter the elevator. As they leave the lobby, two other officers are also having a conversation outside after which a student enters the lobby. The student speaks with the same faculty member as I did earlier about a lost UCF ID. She ask him a series of questions, such as “where did you lose it?” in which the student replies “at The Station”, then he leaves the building. Two girls walk in after the first student leaves complaining to the receptionist about a parking ticket and a stolen decal. They were also directed to the phone to call dispatch as I did. At the same time, another detective enters; wearing a pink dress shirt and khaki pants, he asks for a piece of document and a CD. He then leaves and an officer enters to speak with the two girls. The officer pulls out a notepad and writes down information about the incident then directs them to parking services to deal with the ticket.
After such an extremely busy introduction to this community, I’m greeted by two uniformed policemen, Sergeant Carpenter and Officer Proctor. At the moment, Officer Proctor was searching my belongings due to safety precautions as I did a background check with Sergeant Carpenter. After the initial meet and greet, I walk in to see lots of evidence lockers, in all sizes with one for biohazard materials which are used to store evidence recovered from police officers. Then further into the infrastructure, was evidence rooms which consist of filing documents and two computers. On these computers I see the program called “beast” that officers use to input evidence into a database and afterwards seal the documents with a red seal. The next room is an interview room that contains a desk, two chairs, a computer and two light switches, one for the camera and the other for the light. Further down the hallway are a weapons room and two holding cells. The first floor has a few police officers walking back and forth doing their daily duties.
Part 2
ReplyDeleteOn the second floor, things started to get significantly more interesting and exciting. Same as the first, the second floor is similarly busy. There is another briefing room on this floor which I entered to see a projector, a series of desk like a classroom and a whiteboard. On the whiteboard, I realized that there are four squads: Alpha squad, Bravo squad, Charlie squad and Delta squad. These squads were assigned to a zone throughout the entire UCF campus. Time was of the essence, as I had limited time while in this room but I caught a glimpse of something interesting under Charlie squad’s objectives which said “battery in Flagler hall”.
Afterwards I am given a chance to enter the room with police dispatchers. The room has four cubicles in the center, each with SIX computers for each dispatcher. Each computer has a specific purpose, one has a system called CAD for answering calls, one has a map, one has a series of codes, another with numbers to fire stations and others I couldn’t comprehend. At the moment there were only two dispatchers, one conversing with an officer and other received a call. My heart pounding for some action, it was only a call for an unlit street light (not stoplight) which the dispatchers had a laugh about being that 911 is a number for emergencies. It must be a very demanding job, addressing multiple tasks at once I thought.
After the non-urgent call I make my way to the third floor still escorted by Officer Proctor. This floor was rather dull and empty. It holds the offices for the Sergeant, the Major, the Chief of Police and other offices. With just a few officers doing paperwork, I make my way to end of the hallway where I see a mailing system for every officer in the PD and monument for an officer that died last year. After going through most of the department and leaving the building, I see that all faculty members are relaxed, friendly, dedicated to help the people and coordinate professionally within this hectic community.
Hi Orane,
DeleteThis is a really solid narrative (packed with plenty of detail) and quite interesting as well. You do such a good job of rendering these little details, and these details are often the ones that matter the most.
Though you have done an excellent job here, I would have liked you to render the dialogue you had with the officers (thought this may not be exact, it seems that you had to have some conversation with the officers as you went through the building).
Overall- you have done your due diligence here.
Daniel Keegan
ReplyDeleteENC 1101- OMo4
March 28, 2013
6:oopm, Monday, March 25, 2013
Gracie Barra: MMA fighting
I walk into Gracie Barra, and as soon as I open the door I feel as if a huge weight has just been lifted off my shoulders. My mind has been racing all day thinking about the past, the future, school, and all the stresses of life. Now is my time to live in the moment, and just do what I love to do; fight. I get my sign in card as walk through the office, and quickly make my way up the steps to the training dojo. BAM, BAW, BOM are the only noises I can hear on the way up. When I finally reach the top I see all my teammates who are early as usual. We all give each other a nod that says let’s get ready to train.
There are punching bags, kicking shields, and all other types of training equipment that I’m surrounded by. The coach is yelling at us what to do not out of anger though, but yelling due to the fact that’s just how you communicate in this type on of environment. SPRAWL, PULL THE LEG, STEP THROUGH, WIZARD! All types of different words that make sense to me, but to most people would leave them puzzled. Fighting definitely has its own special type of jargon, and there’s nothing I love more than learning more and more about it each time. The most beautiful thing about it as that communication does not only need to be through word of mouth, some of my teammates don’t speak English. So most of our communication is through physically showing each other different techniques, and moves to use when fighting.
Ding, ding, ding! I hear the timer go off, and I know what that means it’s time to spar. Sparring is the parts of practice when you fight your teammates in the ring, and help each other get better by pushing each other to the limit. It gets real quiet at first, and then the bell rings. Everyone is screaming advice to the two fighters. Get off the cage! Sprawl Out! The coach is doing this while he’s taking down notes. He takes these notes because he charts are progress, strengths, weaknesses, and where he thinks we need work. This part of communication involves the behind the scenes part of fighting most people don’t see. Through verbal communication, and the coach charting are progress and informing us about it we slowly but surely become better fighters.
As we close out the practice the only communication that is taking place between other fighters is a little murmur of good job. We are all exhausted, yet have a sense of pride in what we just accomplished. We all catch are breathe, and return to our feet. We then all gather in the middle of the mat. Gracie Barra on three! 1,2,3 GRACIE BARRA! These are the words we say as we close practice every day. I feel relieved and at peace. I’m a little sad that I have to get back to my day where my mind is constantly racing, but I’m happy to have the time to train and perfect what I love to do.
Daniel,
DeleteYou have rendered a very detailed, and I would say, overall successful narrative piece. The sounds of the training facility are rendered nicely as are the conversations (mostly yelled). You do well in explaining a bit about the complex lexis, but you still bring the narrative back to the moment quickly enough so your narrative doesn't lose steam.
This is a solid start for your ethnography project.
Peter Hoang
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-oMo3
T—9:00am-10:15am
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 28, 2013
6:00P.M., Monday, March 25, 2013
Room HEC – 208
Interactive Systems and User Experience Lab
Lab Visit
Having Fun Researching?
Walking into the lab for the first time, I immediately knew I wanted to participate in this lab in the future. The room was cramped with nothing but big, flat-screen televisions hooked with game consoles, computer desktops and laptops all around the room, wirings and cables all around the floor, remote-controlled helicopters, UAV drones, and robots scattered around the middle of the room, and even one side of the room has a screen for a television projector. Many would say this room is messy and unorganized, but I find this to be acceptable. The purpose of this lab is to develop techniques, tools, and applications that would improve experience between humans and machines. To better productivity between humans and machines. On one television station, there was a Xbox 360 with Kinect. On another was a Playstation 3 with Playstation Move controllers. I like how both of these stations are marked with tape on the floor to designate the area and range that worked best for the gaming consoles. The last television was plugged into a computer for dual-screening purposes or presentation purposes. Just seeing these televisions and the lab, I was already eager to be in this lab. Being a big video game lover, it seems like a dream to be playing video games for a research/career.
The first presentation of the lab was one soon to be PhD graduate showing us her programs. With new technology that lets you draw directly on the labtop rather than on a drawing pad, you can draw shapes such as circles and squares and the program would instantly recognize the shape and make a perfect shape for you. The second program allows you to draw up simple physics problem and set that problem in motion. An example that she uses in this program is a simple pendulum problem. Setting the pendulum in motion, there was also graphs that show when the pendulum was using kinetic energy vs. potential energy. The second research presentation shown was the lab’s creation of the program “Minds of Chimera.” Minds of Chimera is just a recreation of the popular game Minecraft, except created using programming language such as Java and Python. The point of this creation is for allowing people to play this game and suggest any improvements need to be made in Minds of Chimera. This part of the lab visit interests me the most because my major involves programming and I have some experience in Java and Python. I can see myself working in a similar project to this if I ever have a chance to be part of this research lab.
The last presentation of the lab visit was showing the remote-controlled helicopters. Instead of the usual remote controls that people use in the past to fly helicopters and UAV drones, the students have developed a program to use the Kinect in order to move the helicopter. Using specific motions like raising both hands, raising one hand, stretching your left hand out, you can move the helicopter left, right, up, down depending on the hand motion. There are also a few discussions of upcoming projects that are going to be research, such as controlling robots to fight other robots by using the Kinect Sensor. Although I do see some interest in using Kinect sensors to control machines, I rather use a traditional controller to control machines at the time being. Just seeing this lab has given me a first look at what you actually do in this research lab and now I cannot wait to try and become part of this research lab and start my own projects.
Hi Peter,
DeleteYou have delivered an interesting observation here, and I quite enjoyed your opening description of the room. Your descriptions of the presenters focuses on the content of the presentation, and for the context of your project, this makes perfect sense. For some projects, it makes sense to describe the people and the sounds of their voices, but in your case, it seems that exposition rendering the details of the presentations work best.
It really shows that you have a great interest in this community, so I wonder why you phrase your title as a question about being interested in your research?
Overall- this is a solid job.
Edgar Ortiz
ReplyDeleteENC 1101 0M04
PART I
The day is March 15, 2013. It is a Friday night at Drunken Monkey Coffee Lounge and that means it is comedy night in here! I decided to do the project on the group of comedians since I am a regular costumer and audience member here. I come with my best friend Iyan so often that the performers already know us and call us their best audience. Not only do we come here a lot, but Iyan’s laughter is always the loudest, yes even today. So around 8:15pm the performers start arriving in the place and at 8:30 or 8:35, the show itself starts. I’m not sure if there is a leader to the whole group but from what I can tell, Ross Martin is who mostly keeps things under wrap. He is also the host of the show most of the time. So the show consists of around 15 comedians, more or less, and they each have around 5 minutes with the audience to tell jokes. The jokes are entirely not safe for work and uncensored.
When it comes to the place itself, it is pretty calm and laid back, and decently sized. Their specialty is, of course, coffee since it’s a coffee lounge. They also sell sandwiches and other snacks. The place has many round and high tables as well as the regular low ones. It also has a sofa area in the front of the place with some shelves filled with board and card games, and two small tables in the middle to play. The walls are decorated with a lot of cool indie artwork, some which are for sale. It is also filled with a lot of flyers for local events, making this place a pretty active sponsor for just about anything. They can range from a music or art festival to a high school play. There is nothing much to say about the employees other than they are nice to the costumers and good at keeping the place clean. There’s really all sorts of people in here, from old working adults to young students. Some come here for relaxing while others come here with their laptops to either do some work or study.
Hi Edgar,
DeleteThis seems like a very interesting ethnography project. You have rendered some important details here, I'd like to see more concrete details to help you show rather than tell. For example, you mention that the place is decently sized, calm, and laid back. Instead of telling me these things, I would rather you let the reader make these inferences from your concrete details that outline the place and its participants. Instead of telling me some of the material is not work sensitive, show what is actually said. You're in college now, so you have a little more room to describe things as they are rather than desensitizing for a "G" audience.
The descriptions of the walls are rendered with more details, and this is what I want you to do more of. SHOW rather than tell.
The descriptions of the comedians rendered in part two of your posting is rendered quite nicely.
When you tell the reader that the place has a really nice audience, this could mean nearly a million things. It could mean that they are calm and sedated (and they are nice because they are not unruly), but it could also mean that the give applause and encouragement to the performers.
SHOW rather than tell.
Overall- despite me critique, you have a very interesting community and have still done a pretty solid job here.
PART II
ReplyDeleteFrom what I’ve seen up until now I must say that every comedian has his or her own sense of humor, style and jokes. This one guy told his jokes with his deep voice and in-between pauses. Just the way he did it combined with the jokes he said made it very hilarious. Another one played guitar and in-between the chords he played, he pulled off some one liners and guessing jokes. Another one was a screamer. He tend to do a lot of impressions of people he was talking about and talked loudly; very hyped up and eccentric person. One in particular that really cought my attention was Eric. He was this geeky looking guy who seemed like the nervous and awkward type but he somehow manages to pull off his jokes in the awkward style and it is awesome. Ross, the show’s host, also pulls off some great jokes of his own. I would write down some of the jokes but as I said, they are not safe for work, but they are so funny and the way this community rhetorically interacts with the crowd is just awesome.
There is a really nice audience in the place and they respond pretty well to the performers. Even though they won’t normally say racist jokes, people laugh when they do. You can tell that they still try to be respectful by making fun of themselves for saying it and apologizing to the audience, but since it is still funny people are easily forgiving, although today in particular there was none of that. When the audience is silent, it could be a sign that they are demanding funnier jokes, but that is a rare case since most of these gentlemen are hilarious, and today was no different. Overall, tonight was another successful night for the comedians and a great time for the audience. As always, Iyan had the loudest laughter of the audience. The show ended around 10:05pm and soon after me and Iyan approached them for some small talk. It’s not the first time we do it though so they already knew who we were. We talked to Ross for a few minutes and he told us how we are the best part of the audience and how Iyan was getting motivated to try some stand up. Unfortunately today I wasn’t feeling pretty well so we left earlier than usual after we said goodbye to Ross and dropped off Iyan at his place before finally heading home to get some rest.
Dacotah Roeber
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-OM06
Thr 1:30 pm-2:45pm
Revised Field Note Assignment
3/28
6:30 AM YMCA Sarasota Swimming pool
The sound of my alarm goes off and up I get to start my day at the pool for another swim meet. I drive the lonely morning roads and find a spot to park in. I walk to the pool area and see hundreds of kids in the pool, even though the temperature is well below 50. The coach of the Sarasota sharks walks around the pool scoping out how his swimmers are warming up, giving constant advice on how to perfect their forms. After the hour of swimming goes by he directs them to exit the pool and into the freezing winds, while he gives them a pep talk about the meet, which is about to start. He directs the kids who is swimming what events and how he wants them to perform. Soon after having a break from the pool and eating a light breakfast, the swimmers prepare for their races by marking ion their arms which event they will swim in so they do not forget to race. The first event starts and the bleachers are full of parents, family, and friends cheering for each individual racer. With each race ending in quick succession the coach must make sure he can give advice to each swimmer, so he stands over the pool where the swimmers exit and gives them praise for their time and effort. While the swimmers are either full of joy or torn by defeat and lack of effort they have put into the race. The event goes along with more and more swimmers qualifying for the finals and even more failing to do so, the parents and coaches console the swimmers with praise of aspects they did well in and mentioning how they improved on times previously swam. The day becomes almost over and the Sarasota sharks are in the lead and the coach gives his team high praise and that tomorrow will be new races and he wants to see the same results from his team.
Dacotah,
DeleteThis is a solid narrative and you use some important details to render the immediacy of the swim meet as it happens. You can take this piece further by actually incorporating the dialogue of what the coach says rather than saying he "gives words of encouragement." Showing this dialogue will really allow more of the moment to emerge and it will also render the authenticity of the moment more vividly.
Sara Heitzenroeder
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-0M04
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 28, 2013
2:00P.M., Monday, March 25, 2013
Kona Cafe
Polynesian Cafe
Daily GSM meeting
Aloha! Leaders of the Round Table
As I entered Disney’s Polynesian Resort, I was instantly greeted “Aloha” by cast members wearing Hawaiian shirts and leis. They had a great smile on their face and seemed full of positive energy. I responded back and continued walking to my destination. In front of me along the way, I noticed a giant water feature that I couldn’t take my eyes off of. It was so grand and beautiful and made my entire body immediately relax with the sound of its running water. I was starting to feel great. I continued my journey up the stairs to Kona Café. As soon as I walked up to the restaurant, the greeter there said “Aloha” and she too had a big smile on her face. I let her know who I was and that I was there for the manager meeting. The cast member told me to have a seat and she will grab one of the Guest Service Managers (GSM) for me. As I was waiting, I glanced around the restaurant and got a feel for it. I imagined it was like being in Hawaii. There was a definite Polynesian theme going on between the atmosphere, food, and costumes. I could smell amazing food and even was able to see all the desserts since it has an open dessert kitchen. As I was checking out some sort of molten lava cake, one of the GSM’s came to greet me. His name was Matthew and he explained that he would be showing me around for the hour. One of the first things I noticed about him was that he was dressed in slacks and an untucked Hawaiian style floral collared shirt and had KuKui beads around his neck. It seemed very informal for a manager, but fit the theme and I loved it. Matthew talked to me for a short time about the importance of the theming in the restaurant and some small facts such as that it is open for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Anytime a guest walked by, he would say “Mahalo. Please come see us again!” I quickly learned that “Mahalo” and “Aloha” were two important and common words to hear in this resort. After about 30 minutes of small talk and a quick guided tour, it was time for the daily manager meeting. These meetings were to take place every day, except during holidays when they are too busy to hold them. All the managers that were there for the day, today there were four, came together and met in the restaurant next door called O’hanas.
(to be continued below...)
(continued from above...)
ReplyDeleteWe all sat at a giant round table overlooking the Magic Kingdom. It was a pretty great location to hold a meeting based on the view alone! I noticed the chefs were also having their meeting in the same location a few tables down. Everybody brought over a variety of food to enjoy since I gather this was also a break for them to eat. They all had great interaction with each other and there didn’t seem to be any tension between them. Jokes were even being told at the beginning, so it seemed to start off very laid back. Every GSM had a notepad and pen with them. They each had a list of notes to discuss with everyone that was present. They also each had their Blackberry with them. This enabled them to be able to communicate through direct connect, text, or e-mail at any time. The area leader first opened the meeting by talking about their day and projections for the week. They discussed ongoing problems that needed a solution. One was how many napkins that needed to be folded per shift. They came up with a consensus to have six bins before moving on to the next topic. This happened to be about wine glasses and whether or not they should be kept on the table when dinner service started. As the meeting progressed, they conferred about labor costs and how to improve them. During the very end, sort of in closing, the area leader stated that this week was a high guest impact week and guest counts would be higher than normal. He made clear that all casts should be aware and “prepared and focused” of this. He also mentioned that all of the GSM’s should be walking the floor and interacting with guests or helping the cast out instead of hiding away in the office. After this was said, I’m not sure if it was going to continue much more or not, but the meeting was interrupted when the staff for O’hana’s started showing up. The GSM’s wrapped everything up and gathered their belongings and we headed back over to Kona Café. I followed Matthew as he went to print out the reservation numbers for tonight’s dinner. After the reservations were printed, he went to find the assigner and they reviewed these numbers together. A few minutes later, Matthew and I walked out to the front since he had to get ready to do a pre-shift with his dinner servers. I said “Mahalo” and I will be seeing them again soon. I continued to walk down the stairs and leave the resort, but stopped for a quick moment to sit and relax by that waterfall that created a sense of inner peace.
Sara,
DeleteThis is a very solid narrative. You do an excellent job of rendering small details and you also did well in delivering dialogue that brings through the immediacy of the moment. Beyond wanting some paragraph breaks to organize it a bit better, this piece delivers a great narrative that shows rather than tells at most junctures (and in some instances it may be better to tell- depending on what you want to emphasize).
Overall- well done!
Madison King
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-OMO4
TR-9:00am-10:15am
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 28, 2013
6:30pm, Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Room 222, UCF Student Union
NOW (National Organization for Women)
Weekly Meeting
Change Matters:
Notes on What is Discussed at a Weekly NOW Meeting
Immediately, when I walked into the room of 222 I could smell the lingering scent of what I thought to be hamburgers. The smell seemed to be very much out of place because the room appeared to be a highly sophisticated meeting place with a long giant table, big comfy chairs, and flat screen T.V.’s on either wall at both ends of the table. I just figured maybe someone brought along their dinner to the meeting. Anyway, the president started off with an “Icebreaker” to prevent any awkwardness, and each of us in the room took turns and shared our name, major, and highs and lows of our current life. As this went on, it came to my attention that the meeting not only consisted of girls, but guys as well. It made me wonder if they were a part of the LGBTQ community because during the meeting numerous discussions about equal rights were brought up, and not just referring to women.
The main topic that was talked about was there were four members of NOW that went to a conference in Washington D.C. this past weekend for a workshop about what was going on in the world involving women and equal rights. One girl shared that she learned women are just as likely to win an election as men, but they aren’t as likely to run. This made me feel extremely empowered because I want to show people I am not afraid just because I am a female. Another issue brought up at the conference in D.C. was that in women’s prisons, they don’t have as many proper reading materials like men do in prison. This was a problem that the officers felt like NOW could help solve by asking for donations of people’s unused books and giving them to a local women’s jail. It really showed me how involved NOW wants to be in the community and make a difference.
Some announcements discussed later in the meeting was their biggest annual event, Take Back the Night, was taking place the following night by the reflection pond. It represents all of those who have been raped, sexually abused, etc. and for everyone to “take back the night” because most of these crimes take place after the sun goes down. The president of NOW asked for volunteers for the event, and went through the rough schedule of the night’s festivities. Another announcement brought up was a fundraiser taking place the upcoming Saturday called “Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby.” This would help raise money and discuss the importance of planned parenthood.
The meeting was adjourned with an invitation to all for pizza after the meeting, which I thought was very nice, and the students who went to the D.C. conference passed around pamphlets and magazines of what they gathered there. There were also stickers and buttons for each of us to take, and I chose a button that said, “This is what a feminist looks like.” I thought all the people were very nice, and so energetic on changing the world so everyone can be seen as equals.
Hi Madison,
DeleteYou do a several things well here. You are very good at setting the scene and the moment (you did awesome in the intro to show the smells and the sounds of the room). I was particularly fond of your mode of describing the smell and then rendering an explanation of it. In this way, you work well in standing between the concrete objective aspect and the subjective experience of where the smell came from.
As your piece continues on, you are really focused on the issues at hand rather than rendering the details of how those reports from Washington were delivered. Do you think your narrative would benefit from some descriptors about the speakers and the way they delivered the news? Would direct quotes help?
Overall- this is still a very solid job.
Skylar Summers
ReplyDeleteENC 1101 – oMo4
TR – 5 pm – 6 pm
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 28, 2013
6:30 P.M. Monday, March 18, 2013
UCF Baseball Field
UCF vs. Columbia
Baseball From The Fans Perspective: “What The Heck Is Going On?”
“Hey Man, wanna go to the baseball game tonight, I gotta do an assignment.” I questioned. “I’ve never been to a UCF baseball game before” my friend said embarrassingly. “We are going!” I exclaimed!
Walking through the gates and entering into the aroma of baseball is the greatest part of baseball. The hot dogs are roasting on the grill; the fresh cut grass circulates through your sense of smell. The pounding of bats against leather baseballs and the sound of metal cleats breaking the crust of the red infield clay is some of the most memorable aspects of baseball for me. The freezing weather slaps me in the face as I sit down on the frosty bleachers in the upper decks. “This is so great man, I live for this!” As I shout to my friend next to me. “Yeah its pretty cool, they really go all out for these games” Jake says. They really do, I think to myself. A crew solely responsible for keeping the grass green and short, clay raked and softened with water. Laying down the chalk for the foul line.
The players start exiting the dug out, I start naming off people to my friends, giving them their stats and trying to explain positions and reasons they play there. The team huddles up in the outfield preparing for the game to start. “What are they all doing out there? Questions Jake. “They are praying and getting hype for the game!” “Why are they praying?” he chuckles. “It’s a tradition and good luck man”
It’s about 6:30 and more people are starting to fill up the seats around us, these kids next to us keep screaming. “Dude, look, its Little League day” “Its going to be a long night my friend” I proclaim. I keep wondering where their parents are. As long as they don’t get in my view I’m all right.
Examining the coaches I realize they all have a device with them. One of the coaches has a stopwatch; I guess he is tracking the time it takes for the pitch to reach the plate. Another coach has a stat book. The one next to him has a color-segmented rope, which he keeps holding in the air trying to communicate with the outfielders. That must be a rope that navigates the outfielders on where they should be standing before the pitch, depending on the batter. Now that I think about it, there is a lot more to baseball that meets the eye. I’m guessing Jake would have no idea what those devices are or why they would even need to use them. I have some opinions but it would be great to get the players perspective.
UCF scores and the thrill and excitement from the dug out is shocking. Every player clears the bench and congratulates the player who scored. There seems to be a lot of joking going on. I’m sure there is a lot of seriousness going on too, I wonder how thick that line is between serious and messing around. I’m hoping in my interview I can figure out from a player on the level of seriousness in the dug out, in practice, and on the field.
A ball soars over our heads! Its pretty dangerous up here, only a small fence to protect us. We keep joking around whether we would duck or try to bare hand catch it. Another pitch blasts off the side of the bat and the crowd “OHHH” and “AHHH” Almost taking the head off of this little boy. Maybe he should be paying attention. Good thing they have a net behind home plate and all the way to the sides of the dug out, it is still a dangerous place to be for adults and children.
The temperature is continuing to drop so we start to head out of the field. I take one more look at the field and just soak it all in. What a relaxing place to be. UCF is up 5-1, not much left since there is only one inning left. Baseball is an American tradition that will continue for many more years. I’m glad to see parents bringing their children to the game so they will eventually respect and love the game just as much as I do.
Hi Skylar,
DeleteThis is a great rendition of a day at the ballpark. The details in the opening are fantastic and remind me of my days on the baseball diamond. You do well in rendering the sights, sounds, and the smells (especially the smell of fresh cut grass and hot dogs on the grill).
I like the details from the dugout as well. You bring some insider knowledge to these moments which makes them even more powerful.
Overall- this is a solid effort.
Calyn Beese
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-0M03
T--9:00am-10:15am
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 28, 2013
9:00P.M., Thursday, March 14, 2013
Rosen College Apartments
Residents of dorms
Around Rosen in 90 minutes
Student Affairs:
Notes on a Rosen Community Event
It is forty five minutes before the event is to begin and the fire alarm starts to go off. All of the residents and I leave all of our duties to evacuate the building. This alarm was just a drill, and I can hear residents complaining, “this is a waste of time”, “I am supposed to be cooking right now”, “my food will not be ready in time for the event”. As I join my fellow staff members I can hear them talking about the IR they will have to write for this drill. After about fifteen minutes we are allowed back into the apartment building and residents and staff resume their preparation for the event, Around Rosen in 90 minutes.
The event, supposed to start at 9:00 P.M., does not start right on time probably due to the fire drill. The eight RAs are in charge of making their floor lounges fit to a theme of a certain country so that residents can “travel” around the world. At the first location I see many decorations and the room crowded with people. The RA is handing out stickers for residents to put on their passports. I travel to the other floors around the community and see many of the same things. Although in some lounges the RAs are being relieved by Area Council members so that they can take a break. Traveling between the two buildings took a little bit because there were so many people. It was also very cold out.
My position at Rosen College Apartments is a RHAP. I helped with preparing food and decorations for this event. Some of the special lexis I was mentioned is RA (resident assistant, IR (incident report), Area Council (members that help plan events), RHAP (residence hall and apartment patrol). From what I could tell a lot of the communication took place face to face. Although where some was through the phone, most of the staff prefers to talk in person. RAs talk to their residents in order to make sure they are doing okay and to help them in any way if needed.
As the event comes to an end I think to myself that it went very well and I can hear other residents saying how they enjoyed all the food. The staff does a good job of interacting and planning a good event.
Hi Calyn,
DeleteYour rendition of the event before the event (the fire drill) certainly affected the outcome of the event itself. As I read the second portion of the piece, I was left wanting more details about the event itself. It seems like this is an orientation for new residents, but it is not clear.
At many points, I wanted to see you show rather than tell. For example, the second to last paragraph does well in contextualizing the event, but what about the details of who is talking and what is actually happening. Instead of telling that the communication took place face-to-face, let me hear some dialogue to render the moment.
Overall- this is a solid effort.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteConnor Waugh
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-0M04
TR--9:00am- 10:15am
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 28, 2013
11:00 A.M., Sunday, March 17,2013
Lutheran Church of the Resurrection
1115 Windmill Pointe Rd.
SCUBAnauts International Tarpon Springs Chapter
CPR/First Aid Class
Learning to Save Lives with Friends
Walking into the large open room, you see groups of people wearing either a red polo or a bright sapphire colored shirt. Small groups are clustered here and there, you hear talk of schools goings on from those wearing the blue shirts and talk of logistics and money from those in red. By the door, a woman, Mrs. Hamm the chapter’s newest president, greets you upon entering. She sits behind a table with a stack of Boxes filled with supplies including masks, non-latex gloves, and pencils, all ready for the class’ students along with a partially filled sign in sheet and money box. Pale, white dummies are scattered in the open spaces of the auditorium, holding lifeless lips slightly opened, anticipating the breath that will soon fill their inanimate lungs. A row of tables line the open cathedral hall, all facing a brightly lit screen with the words “DAN CPR/First Aid” emitting a harsh red glow. “Alright, everyone, listen up!” I voice resonates in the hall. “If everyone can take a seat, we will begin. We’re just waiting for one more family.” A large former Marine, Mike Waugh, stands in the center of the tables and attention.
After sitting down, you wait for about ten minutes, talking with old friends and new members. Finally, the class begins. Mr. Waugh, who is the main instructor of the course, opens by pointing out the other instructors that will be assisting with the demonstration and review portions of the class. He puts on a video explaining the first technique that will be tested. It’s CPR for an unconscious victim. After the video ends, myself and a group of the older ‘nauts go towards Danny Alaniz, a naut in his senior year of high school that is an assistant instructor for the course. The newer ‘nauts and families go with other instructors until there is about eight people to each of the five instructors.
Danny then proceeds to demonstrate the proper technique for initiating CPR to an unconscious victim. Do to the closeness of the group, everyone talks and laughs together while, one by one, the students demonstrate their understanding of the technique. Members like Colin Cassick and Tyler Harder reminisce about old diving stories from trips past, making sure to put emphasis on mistakes that others made and getting a laugh from everyone listening, including those being poked fun at.
After, another four videos are shown, each time the groups would gather round and present their skills. Each time, the group would spend time talking and joking around, sometimes a choking victim would ask for help because they were choking on their health bar, or a victim would talk about how their leg was broken in a freak accident, adding excruciating details while remaining completely calm and stone faced, all just to spark a reaction from the watching crowd. Each time everyone made it known how much they enjoy the company and how much fun they would have on the upcoming dive trips.
The final test rolled around at around 5:00 that afternoon. Mr. Waugh and Mrs. Hamm stand in the middle of the rows of tables calling out the answers to the tests, getting the occasional joke from someone in the crowd, or concerned question about the correct answer. After, the tests are handed out and, everyone taking their time, the last of the group finishes. The tests are graded and the final outcome of who passes the course is determined. Everyone stands, with a sigh of relief, and talks about the events of the course, a relieved sigh escaping a few lips. The ‘nauts help put away the tables as Mrs. Hamm collects the tests. Goodbyes are said, dummies packed away, and supplies returned as everyone files out of the church to have dinner across the street at a restaurant called “The Varsity Club.”
Connor,
DeleteYou have rendered an interesting narrative here, and you have a knack for some very solid one liners. Here is one line of yours that really stands out to me as quite excellent: "Pale, white dummies are scattered in the open spaces of the auditorium, holding lifeless lips slightly opened, anticipating the breath that will soon fill their inanimate lungs."
This line says so much and has so much detail. It is just great.
I have a few suggestions though. First, move away from second person for this assignment. You are the ethnographer, and though sometimes using second person "you" in writing can create a sense of connection between you and your audience, it might be better in first person.
Second, you have some places where you talk about other people talking, but I would rather you introduce actual dialogue to make the moment seem more vivid. You may not be able to render the dialogue perfectly, but you can at least give it a go.
On the whole, this is still a solid job.
Peyton Schlosser
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-0M03
Tu—9:00am-10:15am
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 28, 2013
4:30pm, Tuesday March 12, 2013
Room 224B, UCF Student Union
UCF Quotes Club
Monthly Meeting
The first thing I noticed as I walking into the meeting room was that the temperature was quite warm and the room was on the smallish side. I began to think that I might not stay to the end of the meeting because I didn't want to be that uncomfortable. There were about 20+ people which also made it kind of a stuffy meeting. I also noticed a table in the front left side of the room, where 3 women were sitting. They later on announced themselves as Tiffany, Kacie, and Katrina. They are all seniors at UCF and have all been a part of the UCF Quotes club for more than 2 years. They begin by handing out two pamphlets containing information about the FPRA (Florida Public Relations Association) and PRSA (Public Relations of Society) chapters in Orlando. Shortly after they begins to connect a laptop to a projector screen for a more in depth presentation. They start to talk about their usage of social medias like Twitter and Facebook, and how we can communicate very easily with them using social media profiles. I start to think about my Twitter account and how much I use it. They I think that, since I'm always using Twitter anyway, this is a great way for me to stay updated on their events and announcements through out the semester. The presentation continues into to preparation for the Intern Pursuit that is held on March 28, 2013. They said that it would be in the Pegasus Ballroom located in the Student Union. The Intern Pursuit is basically a variety of different employers looking for young college students who are interested in becoming an intern for their company during summer 2013 and/or Fall 2013. I began to think that I might not have enough experience to get an internship this early in my college career, so I started to brainstorm things that I can do in the next few months to prepare me for the future. After a few more tips about the Intern Pursuit, the meeting is adjourned and we were dismissed. I wanted to make sure that I had all my materials (handouts, notes, personal belongings, etc.) and I wasn't forgetting to ask any questions that I might've had about the club in general. As I was walking out they reminded us to check their website for more news on upcoming meetings, events, and helpful tips that will benefit us in the Public Relations world.
Hi Peyton,
DeleteYou render some important details about this meeting, but some of your details can be a bit more precise. When you say the room is smallish, perhaps instead of telling us the room is smallish, show how the furniture is tightly crammed into the room and the people sit elbow to elbow around a table where one's foot is apt to accidentally step on the belongings of a neighbor.
Let the dialogue of the speakers come forward and let the important details of the speech come through.
I like that you go inside your own head to show your internal monologue of the moment, but then it will really help you to bring this back to the immediate moment with some details about the speakers rendering another point or some movement in the room to re-contextualize the immediate situation.
Overall- this is solid effort.
Talitha Milton
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-0M06
TH--1:30am-2:45am
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 28, 2013
1:16P.M., Saturday, March 23, 2013
2427 Tarpon Bay Blvd Naples, FL 34119
Burger King
Lunch Rush
All For Fun and Fun For All
As I walk into the restaurant, the first thing I wonder is if any of my old coworker are here today. It's been a while since I've seen them and they always get excited when I come home to visit. The majority of the people that are working today are people that I have never seen before, so it is a bit odd for me. They look at me oddly when I talk casually to my old friends. I notice that it seems more chaotic than it used to be. The general manager has changed and he doesn't really seem to know what he's doing. More people are coming into the front line and in drive-thru, so I decide to sit at a table close by and start my observation.
It's sort of painful to watch how badly the employees are failing. The person who is making the sandwiches is making each one at a time rather than combing similar sandwiches/orders to get the food out quicker. Whenever the manager is in the kitchen, which is rarely, he just stands at the expediting station and tells the expeditors what to do. I guess that helps a bit, but I feel like as a manager you should do more. He sometimes takes over front cash, but even then it is only for about one to two customers. When employees talk, they sort of yell because the machines make quite a bit of noise. "Drop fries" and "drop meat" are repeated whenever someone needs fries or burgers cooked. Crew members shuffle back and forth, weaving around each other, to get things done. You can hear little squeaks coming from their shoes after the leave the fryer area and walk on the drier carpet. In the distance I hear a frantic beeping sound; the broiler broke for some reason and has to be turned restarted. Whenever an order is done, they yell out the number on the ticket, and the customer with that number on their receipt comes up to get their food. In the midst of all the chaos, the crew members still joke around and goof off, which is fun to see. I go up to the front when it dies down a little and chat a bit with my old friends, then bid them adieu.
Talitha,
DeleteI quite like your narrative and you bring an edge of subjectivity tot he piece that enables a bit of conflict to develop. You are great at rendering exposition here, and I love that you pick up on the details at the expediting station and your commentary about the manager not necessarily doing the job of managing.
I am quite impressed with the narrative you have rendered here.
Ralph Mahalak
ReplyDeleteENC 1104- oMo4
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 28, 2013
2:00 pm Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Chapter/ Dining Room of Pi Beta Phi
IFC Weekly Meeting
MARCH MADNESS:
IFC TACKLES CAMPUS SAFETY AND REINSTATEMENT
I always love walking into a sorority house; it makes me feel like I am behind enemy lines. The bright white picnic folding chairs are perfectly aligned five rows deep to accommodate all the IFC delegates. As everyone arrives just before 2:00pm everyone grabs a slice of flippers pizza and scurries to their seats as President Shane Alexander bangs the gavel.
“I call this meeting to order at 2:01. Our executive VP Tom Waterman will kick us off with role call.”
As Tom rapid fires through role call of all the fraternities I try and scarf down my pizza as not to disrupt the meeting. Every delegate follows suit and some even muster a feint “h-ere!” with a full mouth of pizza. We always begin with some guest speakers and quickly transition from their business back to our own. These meetings move at a rapid pace with little to no time wasted between topics. As we get our weekly updates from our officers I sit toward the back of the room trying to write down every detail in my portfolio. Most everyone in the room is wearing a fraternity jersey bearing their respective chapters letters. This attire is almost religiously complemented with a pair of Sperry’s. (You can tell I am the new guy. I am wearing a tee shirt, jeans, and flip-flops.)
As all the present delegates get updated on marketing, recruitment, financial, and disciplinary news, we transfer to the two main topics of the day. The whole UCF campus was shocked by the events of last Monday and now we are discussing campus safety. Everything from getting an escort to your vehicle late at night to recognizing the signs of when someone needs help. As we pass around a sign up sheet to see who is CPR certified so we can possibly get everyone certified next fall.
After that we move to the topic that is on everyone’s minds, reinstatement of Greek Life at UCF. President Shane and VP Tom stress the importance of being prepared for reinstatement presentations that will be performed by each organization. They bring to our attention that getting reinstated is only the start to getting all the way back, but once reinstated we need to become a better community as a whole. This is the only conversation that is not machine gun speed because our leaders truly stress the importance about being a tighter close-knit community.
As I finally get caught up on all notes the gavel bangs once again.
“I adjourn this meeting at 2:58”, says Shane and everyone bolts to the back of the room to grab one last slice of flippers before they leave. Got to love a free lunch.
Ralph,
DeleteThis is a pretty solid narrative piece. I quite like your opening point about your sense of being "behind enemy lines." The pizza being eaten and the sound of the gavel hitting are great details.
I would have liked to see a bit more dialogue (but I understand it is sometimes hard to copy it all down). With that said, I was impressed with how you navigated between subjective and objective perspectives here. For this kind of assignment, your thoughts about what is happening are important.
Ross Hartman
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-0M03
TR—9:00am-10:15am
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 28, 2013
7:00pm, Sunday, March 24, 2013
Room 218, UCF Student Union
Zeta Beta Tau Fraternity
Weekly Chapter Meeting
Being an active member:
Notes on the general** meeting and discussions in Chapter
I walked into the room a few minutes before Chapter started to get a seat and greet some of my brothers that I had not seen in the past week. Everyone is dressed to pin and ready to get Chapter started as our president stands at the podium. President David hits his gavel, calling everyone to order, officially starting this weeks Chapter. Our Secretary, Brian, stands up and begins roll call. He must keep track of absences and make sure we meet quorum or not. After the final name has been called the Chapter has met quorum and we may continue. We always begin with officer reports from our executive board. First, President David stands up and greets everyone then proceeds “This will be short and sweet, don’t forget that next week is the deadline for Council Ambassador applications. If you would like more information on what this position entails please contact me as soon as possible.” Next our Internal Vice President Dale stands up and promptly says “No report” followed by some snaps, claps and minor cheers of approval. A no report answer means a shorter Chapter and everyone wants the quickest most efficient meeting. Then our External Vice President Max stands and says “Also no report.” The next executive board member that speaks is our Brotherhood Development Director Jon who looks like he has a few things to report on. He starts off “Ok so we are having lunch in the Union this Wednesday same as always but pizza will not be provided this time. However, I encourage anyone that has the chance to stop by quickly and chat to do so because it is a good chance to proudly represent our letters together.”
Our treasurer Joe begins his report same as usual “Hey guys don’t forget to pay your dues they are due tonight. I will check the account online and assess late fees three days after they are due. Also we will be holding the raffle for those that paid off their dues early at chapter next Sunday. You are only eligible for the raffle if you paid your dues in full in the beginning of this semester.” Dakota, our Recruitment Director, stands and gives his input “Anyone that is interested in getting involved for next fall’s rush come talk to me. I would like you guys to start thinking of potential friends of yours that you want to see a part of our brotherhood.” Brian stands again, smiles and states “I have no report but I would like to pose a question for everyone. What would you like to see us change and improve on during this halt that would better us as an organization? If you have any ideas please contact throughout the week and if they are manageable I will present them to Executive board and go from there. That’s all thank you.” Finally the last member of Executive board our Risk Manager Marlon stands and begins “Here, if you guys could pass these around, I have an updated risk management form everyone needs to fill out and there is a Risk Management seminar scheduled for next Wednesday that I along with a small group of brothers must attend. Contact me after if you would like to be in the group attending the seminar.”
Hi Ross,
DeleteYour piece does an excellent job of staying in the immediate moment and bringing in dialogue. This is a solid example of a well developed field report. You do a solid job of staying in the moment and your dialogue really carries the piece.
Well done!
Continued...
ReplyDeleteOnce all of executive board has given their reports then the committee heads give their reports. Alumni committee starts with a family weekend reminder for the weekend of April 5th to the 7th and that there will be a BBQ that Saturday at noon as well as the banquet. Our athletics director passes a sheet around with a schedule of pick up games throughout the week but has no report to give. As I sit and space out my patience is slowly thinning and the growling in my stomach seems more forceful. Our External Philanthropy head talks about knighthon as he has practically all semester and relays a few upcoming events for extra points. “Knighthon its self is coming up pretty soon guys its April 13th and 14th so we really want to pick up points in the last few weeks before the event.” Jarrot, our housing committee head, and sarcastically starts “I know you might think its difficult for me to get anything on housing down while not living in the house, but that’s why I uploaded a form to fill out. I cannot stress enough how important the form is if you actually want anything to get done. I will not remember that we had a conversation once or you sent me a text it needs to be filled out on the form and I promise it will be fixed.”
The meeting concludes with old business, new business and free discussion in which other members can bring up issues and things not covered by the reports or less formal matters. David stands at the podium looking out to us content saying “ great chapter today guys meeting adjourned.” With this everyone stands and is on their way.
**The information given does not disclose any confidential details pertaining to the meeting.
Kevin T. Bhim
ReplyDeleteENC1101-0M04
Thr- 9:00-10:15am
Revised Field Notes Assignment
1:00pm., Monday March 25
Mile Marker 288 on Florida's Turnpike
Leesburg Toll Plaza
The Good Life as a FL Turnpike Toll Collector!
Another regular day at the Toll Plaza it seems to me. The heat of the midday sun upon me and the winds gusting in different directions makes me think this might be another one of those crazy days. As I go into the plaza, I see the regular amount of cars passing by the plaza and paying their tolls or going through the Sunpass Lanes. Inside, After I clock in on the Biometric Clock, I hear from the other collectors going home that it was “packed” this morning with “a lot of people on Spring Break” around the South and other visitors that come through throughout the year. Then, my name was called to get my change from the supervisor with the money. So, I get my change I need to start my shift and head out to my designated lane which is lane 5 and relieve the person who was on that shift before.
As I start off my shift in the lane, you get all different kinds of people(young to old) with different cars(sedans, SUV's, Coupes) and trucks(Dump, Semi's, Tractor-trailers) just the thing is I have to make sure I am collecting the right amount of money and giving back the right amount of change. You have the occasional new person to Florida who asks for directions to Disney, how long/how much money(toll) to Miami, or who doesn't even have money to pay for the toll. Then there was this person who actually got mad at me for charging him the toll and he was like “this is Highway Robbery” just because of a $3 toll these customers have to pay when going through the plaza.
There are also the Florida Highway Patrol and the Road Rangers that you see pass by the Plaza to check on those stranded people and those speeders who love to speed through those Designated Sunpass lanes. As I go in for my Lunch Break I speak with my supervisors and managers about my schedule and the things going on around the plaza just to make sure things are going fine. The break room is nicely lit and has the smell of popcorn that was on the table, I took a handful and ate that with my own lunch that I brought with me. After my break I went back out and went throught the same routine all over again with different people but it's mostly the same questions or people making jokes so they can get a laugh out of talking to somebody after a long drive getting to a toll plaza. As the day rolls into the night it gets colder and there is less people traveling so while we are waiting for cars we would count our money make sure everything is in order for when we cash-out and we go home.
Hi Kevin,
DeleteYou have done a solid job of showing a glimpse of the toll booth. As your piece moves along, you develop a general voice about things that generally happen at work. I would rather you stay in an active voice and be in a moment. Let the moment come to the front.
Krystine Colon
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-OM06
TH-1:30pm-2:45pm
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 27, 2013
8:00A.M.-5:00P.M., Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Pleasant Hill Elementary
Second Grade Teacher
Teachers of the school
Teaching or Not
Notes on the communication between second grade teachers
Bright and early in the morning, at 8:00am. The door are open but not for the student only for the teachers. Teachers coming in from everywhere. Walking that long walk down the hallway to another day is the room of faces. Each teacher heads to their door and walks inside as if synchronized. I follow one teacher that seems to be a promising teacher for the day. She’s looks tired. Probably not enough sleep. She heads straight to the desk and pulls out her computer. Nothing is touched but the keys of her computer. Soon enough the desktop appears. The first thing the teacher does is open up her school email. Checking the current new of the school world. Not much is deemed interesting. Except one. A message on the coming up meeting that is schedule today at 4:15pm. A list of what is needed for the meeting. Mainly the paper work that contains the data of the students work. The teacher notices the time. 8:26 Am. It’s almost time for the students to enter the classroom. You can hear them chattering in the hallway waiting for the teacher to give the signal to enter. The teacher is up and scrambling around looking for those darn papers for the meeting. She can’t seem to remember where. She decides to call another teacher to ask if they had remembered where she had put it. Of course not being able to listen to the other side of the phone call, I presumable assume the teacher on the phone told her the where abouts of the paper because she no longer looks panicked and immediately relaxes.
The students enter and the day begins. Throughout the course of the day not much is done for heavy communication between the teachers. Assuming every teacher has their hands full with the amount of teaching that is to been done today. Only during lunch time do I see the conversation start to emerge from the teachers. Many topics are being discussed. Mainly about current students that are struggles in the class or subject area. Other teachers converse about the personal life. Some even talk about the events coming in the school. Only a few engage in a deep conversation on the curriculum that I to be follow and looked over for the next lesson plan. I am barely catching much conversation because of the amount of teachers in one tiny teacher lounge. Everyone’s conversations are cut short when the time has reached the end of the lunch. Thus the second half the day begins. Work, work, work and nothing but work. These teachers sure have a lot to out on the table when it comes to teachings.
to be cont...
Continued post
ReplyDeleteAt last, a break or more like a work break. It’s time for block and the students are sent off to their everyday block time. During this time teacher gather to plan or discuss anything interesting. For instance a week ago I was told of a birthday celebration for one of the second teachers. How exciting! Moving on. Mostly block or planning period is focused of the to do’s of the classroom, or what to do for the next upcoming meeting. What to mention or focus on in the next meeting. Everyone is stress with the amount of paper to be graded that no one says a word on what to do. So they live it for later and decide to work on something else. Like classroom board or the hallways board. The teacher I followed went to her room and sat down on the computer to work on some of the students papers.
Soon enough the ay was over and the student are gone. Teachers have a moment to themselves, until its cut short with the reminder of the today’s meeting in half an hour. So much to do, only so little time. Taking a walk through each classroom I notice a variety of things. One teacher is working on the board, another on the computer, another on the phone, two conversing in conversation of whom only knows what. Seem interesting though. One teacher is to even in the classroom but missing. Didn't have time to wonder because sudden the teachers started leaving their classrooms. The time was 4:09pm. The meeting was in 6 minutes. Time to walk and talk. Teachers can do more than two things at once.
The meeting has started and everyone seems ready to leave. I am told there are many different types of meetings. This on I m currently attending is grade level meeting. Within the meeting I heard many things. Mostly on the progress of the student and their result on tests and whether they may be ready for the FCAT. Most meeting set a goal to complete by the next meeting. This meeting had goal of improving the student skill in test taking for certain subjects. This explains the papers the teacher I was following was talking about. The papers are a sum up or data that contain each student scores within the second grade. Glancing at the paper from afar, I can see a few are really low in scores. Now this meeting has a purpose. The project for today’s meeting is to work with those students who are struggling and bring them up to level with the rest of the students. Every teacher has a student or two work on which means the meeting has been present and set. I guess that means it’s over.
After the meeting every teacher walks together and talks about things outside of school. Too personal for me to mention here. They seem to be relaxed and ready to go home, but each one knows that the day starts over again tomorrow. Of course each one looks at the next day with high hopes and gratitude.
The End
Hi Krystine,
DeleteThis piece brings a lot of detail to the page, and as you move forward with this piece, you will have to select what is important to cover out of everything that could be covered.
Cody Showers
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-0M04
TR 9:00am-10:15am
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 18, 2013
8:00P.M., Monday March 25, 2013
Feed the Beast Homepage Analysis
First Exposures to the Community
Feed-the-Beast.com
The First Block Dropped: An Introduction to the Feed-the-Beast Community
Anyone who has given more than a cursory glance at Minecraft, one can see the influence of user developed content and the divergent communities this has birthed. Looking at the most popular modifications someone could easily be led to the Feed the Beast Community. This is a hub of information, community activity and up to date development. This information is succinct and its organization is intuitive. This is a web community of enthusiast players, developers and support staff bringing additional game content together. One can quickly go from unfamiliar with this world to an active and informed member of this community through the help provided by this community. This is a little ahead of first impressions however.
Alexander maintains an interest in computer games. He’s attempted various genres with influence all over. To be truthful, he might waste too much time on the hobby. But, as with any hobby, his interest in his current engagement began to wane. This left him to search for new ventures. Having heard of Minecraft’s growing popularity through various media outlets, he decides to look into what the game had to offer. With rising focus on game improvement based on consumer developed content and a little prodding from his online peers, he begins to look into changing his game through modifications. They promise to add content, motivation and consequently depth while altering play enough to keep the game interesting. However, this world is complicated. He is exposed to concepts like altering configuration files, snippets of code and game launchers. Interested in things offered by these “mods,” he looks into combining them but spends more time trying to get them to work together than actually playing this game. Frustrated and on the verge of giving up, he stumbles upon a link for a mod community that’s focus revolves around simplifying a cohesive customizable solution to his very problem. He stumbles upon the Feed-the-Beast web community’s homepage.
Cody Showers
ReplyDeleteNotes Revision Continued.
The site appears to have a professional feel. The main page is designed sleekly and, even from first glance, easy to navigate. Immediately visible was an introduction that implies a level of intent that seems in line with Alexander’s idea of his future game. It boasts of a supportive community accented reference to its history. Alexander believes this is an attempt at establishing credibility by giving the impression of longevity as well as a dedication to a joint effort in improving game play for the community. Nearly sold he decides to peruse the rest of the main page to identify what would be required to realize this idea. Early on the page introduces an active community and provides links to reach out to them. Alex decides to find out more specific information before diving into a community might be prudent. First he decides to look over the mod list, as it came first when scrolling down. There is a lot of names, not all of which he is familiar with. However some of them are listed in top mod lists when researching getting started again. There is a mod section further down he infers, because of the navigation links in the top frame. He opts to continue down the page in order instead of delving too deeply first, however. He glances over the news stories, detailing some information about recent developments in the mods. Some are recent, mostly about gaming conventions and some are a little bit older, detailing information that would have been new at some point to mods included. These also had some information about participants from the community and views into motivation.
It is at this point he decides to look into specifics of the mods and the Community. It is not long after delving into the first mod’s links that he realizes they are deeply interconnected through a system called Forge. Not totally sure what this is he continues while marveling at the fact these mods work as seamlessly as they say. Having seen three separate links to the forums at this point, he decides he would take a look at the level of involvement. Alex is greeted by the news articles first. After navigating around to the index he is able to locate much information about current mods and places to troubleshoot the problems he might run into. He is able to identify several members on currently through statistics to the right including staff of the actual site. Feeling like he had researched enough, he decides to delve. “This is the community for him,” he thinks. He goes to the main page and downloads the launcher. Quickly it is up and he is greeted by the FTB logo and his new Minecraft adventure has just begun.
Cody,
DeleteThis piece seems to be designed for someone who already has experience with the gaming interface. As an outsider reading your posting, I wanted to see what the community is and what happens. For example, your opening makes some general claims about the development of content, modifications, and labeling it as a hub of information.
I'd like to see more concrete details that explain what is on the screen and what the game entails. The third paragraph does bring in some details, but I would have liked these up front. As for the second paragraph, you bring in this person Alexander, and as a reader I am not sure who this person is and why he matters.
Michelle Padilla
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-oMo4
Tuesday -9:00am-10:15am
Revised Field Notes
March 28, 2013
3:07 P.M., Thursday March 21, 2013
Hard Rock Hotel
Following Head Manager: Dan Parker and Nyasha
Sound Check “Is This Mic on”
I walk into the Hard Rock hotel; pass all the wardrobe area, upstairs to the main lobby. I wait patiently to talk to Dan Parker because he talking to a family. He waves at me with a huge smile. The song “Hotel California” is blaring out of the huge speakers in the lobby. He comes up to me and takes me to the front office where a group of people are reading the sound check. He reads the events that should be happening in two weeks and that we all need to come prepare for the crowd that will be coming for velvet session. Taylor Dayne is playing on Thursday March 28, 2013, so we will be super busy. He ask us if we all have read the sound check and we all nod our heads and don’t ask any questions because were all ready to start the shift.
I work the PM shift and I am on cashier today. I take my bank out of the safe and start having a quick conversation with my coworker how overbooked the hotel is for the past month. I walk out of the bank room and down to the my restaurant (Emack and Bolio’s). While I count my money, my manager Nyasha is telling me that I need to restock all the refrigerators (which suck).
During my break, I go upstairs and find Dan Parker and ask him to explain the systems that we use for guest. We walk to the back and he pulls out the papers that explain the two systems that we use (HOTSOS AND OPERA). HOTSOS is the system we use to report damage and communicate with other employees, and how we order things through room service. OPERA we can use it to put down guest preferences, so other hotels can view them and prepare things before guest arrive. I put the paper back; walk into his office and thank him. I walk back to the joint and order my dinner.
Hi Michelle,
DeleteDoing observations while at work means you are working from memory rather than observational notes, and this limits the scope of what you can delve into. With that said, you do a solid job of creating the scene of the opening and you do well in delivering some important details.
Are you able to do an observation when you are not working? This will definitely allow you to be more detailed.
Jessa Ullom
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-oMo3
T-9:00-10:15
Revised field notes assignment
March 28, 2012
12:00 p.m. Saturday March 23, 2012
55 North Dillard Street, Winter Gardens FL
Welltrax- Health and wellness center
Saturday Presentation
I show up at WellTrax on Saturday morning, very reluctant to get up and out of bed by 11am on one of my only days off to find the room lined with chairs in rows in one of the presentation rooms. Students from my class were already seated and waiting to hear the presentation by the time that I got there. I sat down in one of the cold metal foldable chairs that were empty, next to my friend from class. The room smelled like cleaning product and looked like it was kept perfectly clean all of the time. The front of the room had a projection screen pulled down with one single chair seated looking at everyone.
Ten minutes later the speaker, Dr. Sax came into the room. He was dressed very professional but not to fancy that made you feel uncomfortable that everyone else was in normal day to day clothes. He started to speak in a very relaxed, deep tone that made everyone feel comfortable being at the presentation with him. He first introduced himself and told a little about who he was and what his job was. After he got done introducing himself his tone changed a little to a more fast paced and energetic as he started to talk about how to connect with your client but not to get too attached and how to keep boundaries.
He presented and taught us different things through many different medias during his presentation. He started off with a power point that had many moving pictures and bright and bold captions to keep you interested and entertained. He also used 3-D models that were labeled with the names of every part of the object that he was talking about. The last thing that he used to help him in his presentation was posters with diagrams and charts that could help us see a sample client list and things that they might do with the client.
At the end of the presentation he asked for individual questions and if we had anything else we wanted him to talk about. We all went up to the front at the end and looked over the models up close that he had brought, which showed different human body ligament and bones that we would want to work with on the client. As I walked out I thanked my teacher for allowing us to come to her work and listen to the presentation. I walked out of the building past all the beautiful landscaping that made WellTrax feel even homier than just an office building.
Jessa,
DeleteThere are some solid details here, but there are places where you tell rather than show, and for this type of writing showing is king. For example, you describe the slides and tell the reader that the power point had many moving pictures and bright and bold captions, but I want you to show what you actually saw. Another place where I want you to show rather than tell is where you say he was dressed very professionally. Instead of describing it as professionally, let the reader see what the actual outfit looked like.
In the next paragraph, you say he presented and taught us many things. Instead of telling the reader about 'many things', I would rather see you show one particular important thing he showed you.
One last thing- stay in present tense.
Overall- this is a solid first crack at this thing, but I really want you to SHOW more and tell less.
Dylan Adams
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-oMo3
T: 9:00-10:15 am
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 28, 2013
8:30 a.m. Saturday March 23, 2013
Islands of Adventure
Confisco's Backwater Bar and Grill
Opening Shift
The Life of a Theme park Restaurant Worker
As I walk through the bustling crowds of Citywalk at Universal Orlando Resort, all I can see is what is going to be the start of an extremely busy day. I am a cook at one of the two full service restaurants in Islands of Adventure and every day is met with thousands of people who walk through those gates daily. As I walk in to the prep kitchen area, I am greeted with the smell of bacon, basil tomatoes and our chef’s own meatball recipe all baking in the oven, it is a great smell to have so early in the morning but I walk past all of those to see what station I will be opening this morning. Our first cook, Rachel, tells me to open the salad line so I immediately get to work because I won’t be done opening the line until we open at 11. First I start by taking all the things I need to the line but of course I do not get this done efficiently because of my co-workers who are always full of laughs and stories about what yesterday was like in the restaurant, but I continue to work through all the talking. Once 11 a.m. hits, our doors open to the prospective forty thousand people that are projected to enter Islands of Adventure that day. Like clockwork our rush hits around noon with tickets printing up faster than the coyote could have hurt himself in an episode of Looney Tunes, I am able to keep up with the tickets until around 1 p.m. when they just become too much to handle and help comes my way. Everyone is running up and down the line yelling what they need and yelling what they just put up in their window, it is a very hectic day for a restaurant that had well over two thousand people come in that Saturday throughout the day. As the time goes by I am relieved on the line by our closers who would have come in that day at 3 p.m. and that is when I am available to do any random chore that needs to be done within my last hour of work. Today chef tells me to help put away the truck, this is not a small job considering the truck has about 15 pallets of boxes stacked 5 feet high. Even though this chore is not something I am wanting to do after 7 hours of being on the job, it does give me an extra 45 minutes of pay because it took that long to put away. Once I am done with the truck I say so long to all my co-workers and start the trek back to my wardrobe, which is where team members dress for work, and that as always is a nice 20 minute walk to end my day.
Hi Dylan,
DeleteThanks for sharing a glimpse of the busy and hectic restaurant. You have done well in rendering a shift at work, but there seem to be some places where you can elaborate and bring more concrete details to the page. One place is where you tell the reader that people are running up and down the line yelling what they need. I would rather see this moment rendered as a scene where you show some people yelling specific things and let us hear the voices emerge from this chaos.
Paragraph breaks will also help, and you should also complete a field site observation when you are not at work, but can just sit and observe.
Justin Kennedy
ReplyDeleteENC 1101 Mo3
TR- -9:00am-10:15am
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 28, 2013
4:45pm, Friday; March,22,2013
2204 Denn John Lane, Kissimmee, FL 34744
Makinson Aquatic Center
Evening Swim Practice
Swim Practice: A Dip in the Water
I have just parked in the swim center parking lot with my friend Luke, waiting for my coach to arrive so I can walk in with her and not get scolded by the overseer of the facility. My coach, Crystal Tavares, pulls up and we catch a little bit as we walk up to the entrance. I wait while she signs in then we both walk to the lap pool where practice is held. Coach Crystal opens the white shed where all of the swim equipment is held including the main digital clock used for practice, stretch cords, dumbbells and so forth. By this time it is still only the three of us on the pool deck. While she goes to position the clock, Luke and I go and find a spot to sit under the massive mushroom looking umbrella where all of the chairs are and where the swimmers put their stuff for the practice.
The first couple of kids start showing up for practice and they are in the navy group, the different groups help to classify the swimmers by age, technique and yard mileage they are able to handle, not far behind were some swimmers in the senior group. Both groups get ready to get in the pool after stretching and both groups are told two different warm up sets. Both group get in the brisk eight lane pool and start their warm ups. My old coach and I talk a bit more about me getting back in the pool and during the whole conversation I kept an open mind about all of the different terms a swimmer and a coach would use. The conversation though had to be put on hold because coach had to tell the senior group their first set of the night. Before each set though they would all talk as a group about the set, upcoming meets, goals, daily events that have happened recently and such. It just gave a really friendly and relaxed vibe, but when the clock was about to hit the top it got tense and serious as the swimmers were about to get off the wall.
When it comes to the navy, shark and gold groups of the team it isn’t really like that, they aren’t as serious and just see it as fun when they are swimming and when coach gives them a set to do. Throughout practice my coach would go back and forth between all of the groups making sure they are concentrating on specifically what ach one needs to work on and making sure that they are fully completing the set, pushing them to be better. It’s what coaches do; it’s what my old coach does best.
By the time 6:30 comes around the navy group is getting out, done with their cool down and the gold and shark group are ready by the blocks to get in and start their warm-up. The shark group then gets out and starts their stretch cord workout to build the muscle around the rotator cuffs, triceps and back. The senior group is now on their 3 set with an hour and a half into the practice. Throughout the rest of the practice I closely observed my coach and looked at the practice from the outside rather than from within like how I was used to.
Hi Justin,
DeleteYour piece does a solid job with exposition (explaining what is going on, and giving details so the reader can follow), but there are places where I want to see the voracity of the moment on the page. For example, you tell that the coach had to talk to the senior group, but I want to hear the actual dialogue spoken.
As you approach the final paragraph, you tell of the final group getting out, but I want you to show them stepping out. Perhaps there is steam coming off their bodies or perhaps you can render a moment where swimmers reach for towels.
I like your use of exposition (and this is a strength), but I also want the immediacy of the moment to come through better.
Mike Boyd
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-0M06
TR-7:55PM-9:30PM
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 28th, 2013
7:55PM
Gym Stairs
iCracked iTech Representative
Picking up phone for repair
Oh, so you’re phone’s broken? I can fix that!
“I gotta make it to the gym in 5 minutes, crap!”. I run to my car, with my toolbox, iPad, and iCracked folder in hand. “I gotta grab my Swipe too, crap” I think to myself. I scurry to the gym parking lot, and then quickly grab my iCracked folder and fast walk to the Gym stairs. I wait for the stop walk and take in a breath of the fresh cold air. As I get across the street, I watch everyone look at my iCracked logo on my shirt then my face. I think to myself “what an odd place and time to do this line of work”. Then I remember it’s college and reason with myself that its normal. As I walk up the gym stairs, I hear my name called by a guy. I turn around and see two girls and a guy. I recognize one who is actually a pledge for Theta Chi. At this point I realize that I know the three through other friends who have recommended me. The girl who’s phone is cracked walks in front of her friends and introduce’s herself and shows me her phone. I introduce myself and tell her “I’m sorry your phone broke, but I’m here to help!”. I then tell her that I’m doing a project for school and let her read the consent letter while I examine her phone. She responds saying that she has to do a project along the same lines and offers to help me in any way she can. I thank her, and then ask her to sign a consent letter to allow me to fix her phone. She signs the letter, and I look around and notice the large amount of people flowing out of the gym. I assure her that I will have her phone back to her in perfect condition and tell her to meet me at 9:30PM in front of the gym.
I finish the repair at 9:15PM and receive a text from her friends phone number asking to meet at the Library instead. I tell her “yes! I’d be happy to!”. She thanks me and I grab my iPad and the repaired phone and start the walk to the library from Theta Chi. She wants to meet at the library because of how late it is and the recent events that have happened on the UCF campus. I get to the library and give her her phone in an iCracked Coozie, clearly showing that the creators of the company just got out of college. She smiles and thanks me happily. Her friend makes a remark “I can’t wait to get my phone fixed tomorrow!”. I thank them and tell them to send their friends to me and I will help them out with their repairs.
Hi Mike,
DeleteIt is wonderful that you have become something of an entrepreneur, but I am left wondering what community you are investigating for your project.
The narrative you deliver here is well written, but where will this project be heading? What community are you investigating? And when will you engage with that community?
Gabriela Lozada
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-0M03
TR--9:00am-10:15am
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 28, 2013
4:30P.M., Monday, March 25, 2013
12226 Corporate Blvd, Orlando, FL.
The Station
Night Shift
Monday Funday
The first thing I see as I am approaching the entrance of The Station is a chalkboard that has today’s food and drink specials written out in big lettering. The hostess, Alex, lights up as soon as she sees me and greets me by asking what I am doing here (I normally only come in when I am working and in uniform). After explaining what my English project consists of, I turn to my right and make my way to the bar. I realize that there are a lot more people here at the Station than I had originally thought there would be. I suppose Sunday doesn’t have to be the only “funday” there is. I take a seat at the front bar close to Johnie, a fellow server, and say hello. Heather, the only bartender on the clock, also greets me. As I look around I wonder why there isn’t another bartender on duty because it seems like Heather doesn’t have any time to even think. Heather asks me if I would like anything and I tell her I would like the Special of the Day. She then takes my drink order and brings me my iced cranberry juice. After getting settled in, I realize there has been music playing—music I actually like—this entire time. Rap is what’s currently playing and I’m thrilled (I normally have to beg the managers to play rap for me). I feel amazed at how much I don’t catch on to when I am working. I had no idea the bar can be set to light up to whichever color combo you can think of. Today’s color combo is blue and yellow. The entire restaurant/bar has a railroad theme with New York as the location. The sign above the bathroom reads “Manhattan” and there are several pictures above the booths of places in New York. Right before I start wondering where my food is, Heather brings out my brussels sprouts and two chicken breasts to me. It looks and smells divine. I dig in and realize the chicken has too much seasoning. I eat it anyway. I continue observing as I’m eating and notice that management has put up a second poster with the daily drink specials on the wall where the bathrooms are. The sign reads “Captain Morgan: $4, Crown Royal: $5, Don Julio: $5”.
Part one
Part two
ReplyDeleteI quickly notice the drunk guy sitting near me who is being annoying and trying to get Heather’s attention as she takes a delivery order over the phone. The minute she gets off the phone, she pours drunk guy another yuengling draft. I then ask her to bring me my bill so she closes my tab out and hands me the check. I then write down her tip and hand it to her. She gets mad because she never wants me to tip her (because she loves me and I work there). I tell her to stop being silly. One of the cooks, Ed, walks out of the kitchen and over to where me and Heather are to say hello and tell us a story about one of his incompetent assistants in the kitchen. As I am listening I see Alex seat two girls at a booth and watch another guy wander into the restaurant. Heather, the only server on the clock, hugs him and she then makes her way to the kitchen. She comes out and brings a plate of chicken fingers and fries to a girl sitting at the bar. She leaves and brings her back Daddy’s sauce for her fries. All of a sudden I see my bestfriend Skipper and she comes and tackles me with a hug. She orders a Miller lite draft after Heather asks her what she’d like. Heather brings her her beer and closes two guys out at the bar. I then see Cara taking a booth’s food order. I see Myk, the general manager, walking towards me. He then asks me how I’m doing and takes a seat in a booth with his computer and the schedule request form to make next week’s schedule. After a few drafts Skipper asks Heather for her check. Eventually I see Myk get up and go to his office…I assume he can’t concentrate with everyone talking. I tell Heather I’m leaving so she comes around the bar and gives me a hug. As I am walking out, Alex asks me when I work next and then wishes me a good night. I finally walk out with Skipper and begin walking towards my car.
Gabriela,
DeleteThis narrative does well in really staying in the moment. The pacing of the action is continuous and well rendered, and there are many moments to appreciate. I like the sense of tension that you develop at the site (the bartender who is too busy, and the patrons who are impatient and expectant). I know you probably crammed all your paragraphs together to save space for this blog, but some paragraph breaks will help.
As you look to draft your ethnography, what aspects of this community do you want to focus on? The people? the culture of the restaurant itself? The personal stories of a few regulars?
Overall- this is well done.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteChris Arizmendi
ReplyDeleteENC1101-omo3
Tuesday-9:00am-10:15am
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 28, 2013
7:00P.M., Saturday, March 16, 2013
Amici’s Italian Restaurant and Pizzeria
Dinner Rush
The smashing of dishes to faces:
Notes on the everyday dinner rush at Amici’s
Coming from the outside of this fine establishment, there are a plethora of things to note. Unlike other basic restaurants, I come across what seems to be tinted windows from the outside. I have not yet found a reason for this. Although, privacy does help the customers in feeling free to come and eat peacefully.
As for the main entrance to Amici’s I seem to have run into a situation were I don’t know were to go. I spot 3 doors that lead to the restaurant and the only thing that keeps me somewhat sane is the fact that the owners labeled each door leading to “take out,” “the main entrance,” and last, the bakery.
Moving away from the side that the restaurant is located in the back of a dark plaza, business is still booming inside.
Following many customers in, I join the phenomena known as “Amici’s.”
I walk in, not as a happy guest, but as an excellent and enthusiastic worker. The first thing noted inside of this establishment is the noticeably freezing temperature. Walking in with some people at the same time gave me an opportunity to hear first time impressions of Amici’s. One older lady squirms at the coldness of the restaurant and says, “My it’s freezing in here!” I wonder why my workplace decided to make the temperature so cold. Is it to make their customers thrive for some warm food? Or does this critical temperature drop just irritate the buildings guests?
I go to the back preparing for work; putting my half-apron on.
Walking through the mess of the kitchen and frantic waiters/waitresses, I pick up a lot of verbal and non-verbal communication. The cooks and waiters seem to be using a language that is also used between the bus boys and hostesses; the idea of a form of organization of the restaurant. This organization is only available with the use of labeling the tables. Assigning the food to a table and the ability to let the bus boys know of what table to clean next can only be done through this restaurant-type form of language.
As I start my shift, I walk to the front were the hostesses seem to be helping customers. I note that there are only female hosts that work here. Maybe this is due to the fact that women can be more friendly? I can see that customers of all ages will feel comfortable with a calm lady as their first impression.
Also, every worker is differentiated by their different required attire. Starting with myself, I am told to were a plain black t-shirt, black jean pants, and any black shoes I desire (along with my half-apron of course). As for the waiters, (maybe since they are faced with the customers at all times) are required to wear a black long sleeve collared shirt, a tie, black slacks, and black dress shoes.
Back to the establishment, there are so many things to describe that make this restaurant at least somewhat unique. The use of dark lights can easily promote a more private, romantic, and peaceful environment for its customers.
Back to the use of communication, while at the front hostess desk, I manage to pick up some dialogue. The hostesses seem to communicate to one another by saying, “Hmmm where would this family of three be better to seat?” Every different worker definitely has different jobs and that means some different communication within each other. In order for others to have some form language to us bus boys, we are talked to like this, “Clear table number seven next so we can seat these three older ladies.” The use of table numbering allows fast and understanding language.
Continued...
Continued..
ReplyDeleteDoing my job, I am required to clean tables, set up plates and silverware, cut and disperse the free appetizer bread and dip, refill drinks, and do anything customers or the waiters say.
Much is required of the busboys and it is noted along with environmental and other worker’s aspects that keep this community together staying with their one goal; pleasing its customers.
Chris,
DeleteYou have painted an interesting view of Amici's. The coldness of the place and the dialogue of the staff are important details that bring immediacy to your narrative. At one point, you seem to develop these little awkward transitions when you say, back to the communication... and back to the establishment. It will serve you better to stay in the moment. For example, after you describe the attire of the waiters, you should jump into delivering more concrete details about the restaurant. Instead of telling the reader that there are lots of details that make this restaurant unique, SHOW this uniqueness with descriptive language.
This is a solid job here.
Aasim Bhimani
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-0M03
Tues 9-1015
Revised Field Notes
March 28, 2013
8:30 AM- 12:30 PM Saturday March 23, 2013
Dr. Phillips YMCA
Ismaili youth Basketball Practice
Getting Buckets
I walk into the Dr. Phillips YMCA and am surrounded by the sound of basketballs hitting the floor, clanking off the rim and even some going right through to that beautiful sound of a swish. After these players warm up for around fifteen minutes, I see the coach walk in. when he arrives at the courts, the kids shooting around all stop what they’re doing and greet him immediately. After the coach talks to his players about what is going to happen in this practice, they circle up and begin to stretch. As they stretch, something odd catches me off guard. I hear them all counting the stretches out loud as a team. As I sit there and here thirteen people counting to fifteen very loudly, I am confused. After these stretches, the entire team runs a warm up lap. Once they finish running, I quickly run over and ask the captain why, when stretching, do they count as a team? To which he responds, “Doing that makes us feel like a team in every part of practice”. Once they finish the warm up, they begin to run drills. As I am watching, I begin to see a pattern. The coach works and works to teach his players the basic fundamentals so his players know them like the back of their own hands. For the next hour and a half, the team is working on fundamentals by doing layup lines, dribble courses, fast break drills and free throw practice. When I ask the coach why he focuses so much on the fundamentals, he responded with “working on the small fundamentals is what will make a good team into a great team and a great team into an incredible one”. Once the coach feels they have worked enough for the day on fundamentals, he splits the teams up, selecting them himself and has the players scrimmage against each other. Throughout the game, he is constantly calling out plays to both teams, alerting them what they’re doing wrong and what they need to focus on. After the scrimmage, practice has come to an end. The players all gather around the coach to review what needs to be worked on by every player on the team. Once all the players leave, I decide to stay back and talk to the coach about his coaching style. When asked about how his coaching style differs from many others, he tells me “I like to have a more hands off approach in games. The majority of the time, I let my team run their offense without any say from me, but if I see their not fit to during practice, I’ll take that away from them”. To me, having this hands off approach would be something I could utilize for my own team and something I could take away from him.
Assim,
DeleteI really enjoyed reading your narrative. You bring in some excellent concrete details that really allow the reader to stand close to this experience. You also do a very solid job of integrating the interview questions into the mix as well. There are a few places where you might crack open some details to lend more power to the immediate moment. When you say the coach calls out plays occasionally, it might be interesting to actually hear him call out a particular play.
Overall- this is a job well done!
David Lipszyc
ReplyDeleteENC1101 OMo6
TR--1:30pm-2:45pm
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 28, 2013
6:45pm, Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Chabbad of Oviedo
College Students of the Orlando Area
Social Event
The Average BBQ At Chabbad:
Pretty Interesting
I arrive at Chabbad and walk in through the backyard while looking at a bunch of people crowding around a table of food. With a closer look, now, I spot many students in fraternities or sororities because of their style of clothes. As I think about the ways of Greek life I bump into my friend, Marc, shake his hand and have a quick, “how’ve you been? Good,” type of conversation. I keep walking and I notice Aaron by the grill, so I walk over to say, “hello,” and a similar situation (to the one with Marc) occurs. So, I move on into the house and as I look to my right I see what I would expect to see: a few people talking by the couch in the living room area across from pictures of the rabbi and his family. Looking straight ahead, now, I see Rabbi talking to a couple of students, so I walk into the next room and wait for him to end his conversation to greet him. I am struggling a bit to get to the cups at the end of the room because the room is quite crowded. I squeeze through some ongoing discussions and get a cup, only to turn back around and squeeze through them again to get to the kitchen for some water. I am now in the kitchen, free from the crowded area, and see Rabbi wandering around, so I pat him on the back of his shoulder and ask, “how’s it going, Rabbi?” He replies, “Thank G-d, and you?” I tell him everything is running smoothly for the most part and a few moments later we part our separate ways to socialize and eat. I head over to the table outside to grab myself a plate of some salad, a piece of bread, and a couple of mini burgers. As I enjoy this wonderful meal, my friend David walks over and we start to talk for a little while until my ride tells me that we are going.
Hi David,
DeleteYou have done well in delivering a rendition of what the BBQ was like, and you are particularly effective at delivering these little moments of dialogue.
My biggest issue with this piece is that I want more sensory detail to really capture the essence of the place you are at. Let me see the decorations and the people. Let me hear the sounds of the crowded room and smell the aroma of the fresh food. These sensory details are there at times (when you see people at the event), but I want you to show more. You mention being in the kitchen, and I can't picture what it is like. Could you show how crowded it is in the room or perhaps give an inclination of what its dimensions are like.
Despite my call for more detail (and I would say this is a calling for almost every posting on this board), you have still done well here.
Taylor Beam
ReplyDeleteENC1101-0M06
TR- 1:30-2:45 p.m.
March 28, 2013
4:00P.M., Saturday, March 23, 2013
Culinary and Nutrition Office
ACTS- Indian River Estates East
4:30 meal shift beginning
A Day in the Life of IRE
When entering Indian River Estates East as an employee, you enter through the loading dock in the back of the building and go through three automatic opening doors (buttons don't work half the time so you have to push the really heavy doors). Once you've gone through those doors, the office is on the left hand side. When you walk into the office there is 5 desks and two doors on the right hand side. The first desk is turned sideways and is used by non-managerial staff for when they are calling residents to make takeout orders. The next 4 desks are all aligned in the same direction of each other and are used by the managers and the head chef. The first of the managers is Kylee who works upstairs in the OBT (Oak Bridge Terrace). She is rarely ever down stairs. The next is Belinda's desk. Belinda is the hiring manager and she is also in charge of the schedule and ordering supplies such as uniforms, silverware, plates, etc.
While Belinda does have her good days, majority of the staff cannot stand her. She tends to freak out over little things and shows symptoms of OCD. The workers have nicknames for her such as "Bipolar Belinda". The next desk is Tim, who is complete polar opposite of Belinda. He is very laid back, calm, cool and collected. Not sure what it is that Tim is in charge of that Belinda doesn't do. The next desk is Reed's desk. Reed is the head chef and is in charge of the other chefs and the dishwashers. From walking into the office the first door on the right hand side is Jeff's private office. Jeff is the Director of Culinary Nutrition and Services. Jeff's personality is very personable and caring. The residents absolutely adore him and I believe the residents would enjoy Jeff being present at more meals.
When Jeff is present at IRE, he tends to pick on some workers. During line up he really hates when people are talking and not paying attention so he will call you out and say, "Hey, pay attention". He is very anal about us lining up in a straight line. During line up, Jeff and the other managers always repeat the same thing over and over again. For example, "Serve from the left and buss from the right". After line up, the managers never seem to be in the same place as one another. If Belinda is on the floor, then Tim will be in the back kitchen or in the office, and vice versa. I don't believe they like to work together very well because of their conflicting personalities.
HI Taylor,
DeleteThe strength on your piece lies in the precise details you deliver. You do quite well in rendering the locations of desks and the details about the people who work there.
There are places, however, where your narrative can be more potent. For example, you mention in the opening that there are these three heavy doors, but instead of telling us they are heavy, let the reader experience heavy as you struggle to pull the door open. Let your struggle with the door represent the type of heaviness that this particular door has. Rendering the act of opening the door will also bring out the immediacy of the moment.
Overall- you have done well here.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteVivienne Do
ReplyDeleteENC-0M04
Field Notes
Sushi Pop
March, 27, 2013
7:56PM
Thoughts of a critic
As I walked into the restaurant, an air of loudness and white sea filled my eyes. I was greeted by a server wearing the most mismatched and odd looking clothes ever. Obviously the rules about uniform does not apply here. The massive amount of americans suggested to me that this Japanese restaurant was indeed Fusion and Westernized. I sat down on white chairs, these felt rather expensive and the décor reflected that as well. Adorements of Pop culture Japanese influenced laid on the walls. Anime was playing on the four flat screened televesions that were propped up against the yellow walls. Red tulip like lights drapped along the ceiling, as if they were consuming something. The owner seemed to have gotten his inspiration with the vibrant colors and animation from a person who is more expressive and extroverted. The green tea I ordered was very bland and yellow in hue, this indicates to me that it is not of the traditional origin roots Japan. It was also served mildly cooled/warmed, I can only assume that they use a weak water heater boiler. The servers are sweating (the males) they probably work at a faster paced than the females. Servers talked very fast paced to the guest next to me, they're in a rush- live in a fast beat lifestyle. Upon ordering, the server asked me if I had any questions. This entitles me as a guest to think she actually cares about my concerns and questions. When the food came out, it was laid backwards (traditionally the shiso leaf is suppose to face away from audience.) Perhaps my server is new or inexperienced with Japanese cuisine. The portions are very small and the fish was extremely fishy, they should reconsider the fish market they use as well as readjust the pricing. My water cup was constantly refilled and the server noticed me writing my field notes. She probably thought I was from a company that was sent to go spy and review this place. Left with a faint ''See you next time'' blurred within the background noise.. as if.
Hi Vivienne,
DeleteI love the details you bring to the table here, and the subtler details are the ones that really pique my interest. You do such a good job of delivering an evaluation of the situation throughout the piece. Details about the Westernized Fusion version of the Japanese restaurant came through nicely throughout the piece. Your speculations about why things are as they are (the weak water heater, and the waitress being new) are excellent details that really reveal the subjective experience.
I would have liked to see you render a bit of dialogue, but on the whole, this is a fantastic job.
Khondaker Rahman
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-0M06
Thr-1:30 P.M.-2:45 P.M.
Revised Field Note Assignment
March 28, 2013
10:00 A.M., Thursday, March 21, 2013
Mid Florida Tech
Computer Systems Technology Classroom
Learning About H.D.D.
A Regular Day on H.D.D.’s
It’s a cold morning and the wind is brushing through the student parking lot of the Mid Florida Technical Institute. I decided to observe the basic level of information technology in this school. I know some of the students there and am acquainted with the as well, Mr. Maged Gazaway. As I enter the room, I greet Mr. Gazaway and the students but I did not know any of them because this was the morning class. But I still began my observation notes by positioning myself near the instructors’ desk. Since it is located in the middle of the room I could see the 2 columns of desks clearly. The left column had 6 students facing towards the instructors and the white board working on the P.C.s. The 5 other students were doing the same facing the opposite direction 2 of whom were sitting on the left column near the unfinished or broken P.C.
As I began my observations, the instructor announced to the students their assignment of the day, to work on their text book “Mike Meyers’ CompTIA A+ Guide to Managing and Troubleshooting PC’s, 3rd Edition.” where they begin buy reading and responding to question about the Hard Disk Drive of computer. The work on groups of 2-3 and with one book per group they share. When they communicate about the assignment they use the jargon “hard disk” to refer to the H.D.D. Most of the students speak about the assignment but some go off topic and talk about social topics like school or friends. But the instructor tells them to focus and they eventually go back to work. Still sometimes I heard people off topic but it was minimal enough to not be noticed by the instructor.
It seemed that pens are more popular than pencils in this class room as most of the write is final. Sometimes the students would check the white board where an H.D.D. diagram drawn by the instructor. I looked around wall of the classroom and saw posters themed after technology and some of rules of the class room. As the students continue the assignments, one of them mentions the new iPhone 5 and the instructor begins a friendly conversation with the students. I sometimes join in but soon they got back to work. One group finished early and begins to do a reflection on the assignment as the instructor tells them they are free to work on computer assignments if they are done. Most of the students are still working but my 1 how of observation soon comes to end as Mr. Gazawy explains that their next task is to do hands on work based on the assignment they worked on today. Mostly I witnessed a regular class day but saw some students off topic with doing things that were restricted on the PC’s like Facebook or games. But Mr. Gazaway has a way to look at the students monitors form his PC which impressed me. So for today the regular class goes on as I leave to head for college.
Khondaker,
DeleteYou do a solid job of rendering the classroom setting. You nicely capture the setup of the room and also the group interactions taking place within the room. As you finished your narrative, you attempt to wrap it up with a bit of summary of what you covered earlier. For this type of narrative, I recommend staying in the observational mode and delivering more detail rather than rehashing what was already covered.
Overall- this is well done.
Trevor Gross
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-oMo6
TR—1:30pm-2:45pm
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 28, 2013
2:30 P.M. Friday March 22, 2013
Primera Plastic Surgery Center
Hey Doc! I Think I need some Botox:
A report on the workings of a Plastic Surgery Center
When you walk into Primera Plastic Surgery Center you immediately notice the cool temperature and smell of cleanness. There is a video playing on a plasma screen TV. on the lobby wall. The receptionist is a super friendly and upbeat, while she is constantly answering phone calls and checking in patients. After a little bit of investigation it turned out she was also working on a master schedule for the medical doctor. Soon after the patients sit down they are called by a physician’s assistant to follow them back to an examination room. The doctor then enters the room, making sure to grab the patients chart and give a quick read through before interacting with the patient. I noticed that many of the patients that checked in at the front desk commonly asked “how long is the wait going to be?”. I also noticed that the whole facility is beautifully designed and this seems to be fitting of a place people go to beautify themselves. Looks like something off the show HGTV home makeovers. The receptionist is wearing a scrub shirt with the facilities name on it. Following that she had on slacks. The physician’s assistant was dressed in a full scrub kit and the doctor was wearing a business suit. The primary goal of the doctor on non-surgery days was to close business and have patients sign up for surgery. The physician’s assistant communicates with the doctor about what rooms have patients in them via these plastic, multi-colored, buttons on the wall. There were four different buttons outside every exam room. The buttons were the following colors: red, yellow, blue, and flashing blue. Throughout the entire time I viewed the doctor in the exam room with patients there was a certain set of vocabulary that was repeated: “Treatment Options”, “Expected Results”, “Post-op Care”, “Rhinoplasty”. Following the conclusion of a consultation the patient when to a business office with the doctor and the manager to decide on appropriate costs for the procedure. Following the conclusion of this the patient scheduled their surgery( with the receptionist) and then left the facility. Most of the communication happening in this facility is between the doctor and the patients. I’m interested in knowing how the doctor communicates with his staff besides oral communication.
Hi Trevor,
DeleteI'm not sure how you got access to this community, but this is an interesting place to investigate culture and communication. The descriptions you give a clear and precise (though at times you can be more concise in your delivery of details-- I'm referencing your description of the receptionist here).
Overall- this is a pretty solid job.
Brandon VanLandingham
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-OM06
TR-8pm-11:49pm
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 28, 2013
8:30A.M., Saturday, March 16, 2013
Biology Field Building
Research Lab
My event with my Research Lab
Today I have arrived early to a day of instructing and taking notes about my research lab. I will also be helping people complete the tasks they are volunteering for so they can get their extra credit. After waiting for 50 minutes my PI arrived her name is Dr. Walters with her was her husband whose name I believe is Bob. After we introduced ourselves to each other we started to work setting up the stations. First we moved the buckets of oysters and the oyster mats to the building where they will be used. After moving the oyster mats and the shells we started to set up the tables that will be used to hold the oyster drills. While we set all this up me and Bob talked about what I would do in my future and what I have done up till now. After finishing the set up for the stuff to drill oysters and make oyster mats I was told to go help Melinda set up her area because she had just arrived here. So I walked over to where Melinda was and we said our hellos and the how are yous. Once we finished saying those she told me and her son to move pots to surround the mound of soil so that the students can just start planting the mangroves as soon as the students get here. Now that we are finished with that the students have arrived and we have started to direct the students to what they needed to do first which was sign in. Once they were done signing in they had a student from my lab direct them to which group they were going to. I’m watching as the person from my lab directs people to where they want to go, while watching her direct people I walked to the area Melinda is having her process progress. Now that I am at Melinda’s process and here they make a chain of steps that resembles the way Henry Ford made the cars in the past which is called an assembly line. While I was there I watched them in there assembly line and helped when needed which lasted about a 1hour and 30minutes. I’m going to the next station which is Doctor Walter’s where I will help people make oyster mats and watch how other people in the lab help people. While I was at Dr. Walters section I noticed something interesting they had brought a poster with them that Dr. Walters used to explain what they needed to do and how they needed to do things. I spent about an hour and a half helping people and watching but decided that for the rest of the time I was here I would go to the final place and observe what they did to teach how to drill oysters and what they talked about while doing it. I walked out of the building and arrived at the table where they were drilling oysters. Bob was instructing someone on how to drill the hole which seemed the way he did it was showed them how to place the oyster and drill the hole into the oyster. I can’t help in this one so I think I will just participate in it and observe. I ended up observing them for about 45 minutes while drilling and noticed that here they just seem to talk about whatever they want because once he taught them once they didn’t need any more help so they just talked about what they are doing in their life now and what they will do in the future. Now that I have finished doing the Observations and helping of the event we were doing I left and went home.
Brandon,
DeleteI am interested in what is happening in this lab, but the descriptions you give often leave me wondering what is happening. Certainly, this shows me as someone with little or no experience in a lab, but this also tells me that you could be a bit more precise in the details that you deliver. At one point, for example, you note that you observed Melinda's process progress, but I'm not sure about what process she was undertaking.
Also, I'm not sure where this lab is located. It seems that it could be a lab on campus at UCF, but perhaps it isn't at UCF since this observation took place on Saturday. It also seems that there are two labs, one inside and one outside, but it is hard to distinguish this until later.
Perhaps you can help someone like me (who is a bit of a newbie at the lab) to understand what is happening there.
Jeffrey Sosa
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-oMo6
TR--1:30pm-2:45pm
Revised Field Notes Assignment
March 28, 2013
4:30pm, Wednesday, March 27, 2013
CSB Room 101
EXCEL Seminar
Providing Academic Advising for members
Engineers Galore!:
Notes on a Seminar for UCF EXCEL Students
A chilly breeze hits me as I enter the warm College of Sciences Building. I let out a twitchy shiver as I make my way to room 101 and quickly take a seat. I notice that the room is only half full, or as the pessimist would say, half empty. But in this case, since the room was full of engineers, it is wiser to say that the room was twice the size it needed to be. I take out my writing utensil and a couple of clean sheets of paper to begin my observation notes.
The room is occupied by a majority of EXCEL students with majors in only engineering. There are four other people who aren’t students: the instructor and three academic advisors. As the seminar commences, the instructor begins her brief presentation. She plays her power point and begins to talk to the students about future assignments and their due dates. After her quick presentation, she takes attendance using the I-clicker system and then introduces the academic advisors.
There is a quick applause as the instructor finishes introducing the advisors. One of the advisors, who to me seems to be the leader of the three advisors, takes the stand and begins informing the engineers in a strong, commanding tone about general information in regards to the vital math and science courses that they have to take. She provides all her information through oral means without any technical presentation whatsoever. When she finishes her speech, she welcomes to the stand one of the other advisors.
The second advisor wobbles up to stage and uploads her presentation. This advisor begins to talk, with a less commanding tone than the first advisor, about the more detail oriented information about what path each engineer had to take based on their current math and science courses. The slides have very specific vocabulary to describe the courses and the plan of action in each case. As she concludes her presentation, the first advisor takes the stand once more.
The first advisor begins to instruct the students to divide themselves amongst the three advisors and to have their planned schedules out and ready for inspection. The students get out of their seats and begin to form clumps around the three advisors. There is an abundance of chatter in the room now as the students break their respective silence and as the advisors begin to check schedules while providing comments to each student. One by one, the students have their schedules checked and walk quickly out of the room.
Jeffrey,
DeleteYou have done a pretty solid job here. You do well in setting up the scene of this situation and you have clearly rendered the moments to enable a reader an easy path to follow. After the first paragraph, you move into a mode of exposition that carries the piece forward. You tell of what happened here, but there are some points where I want you to also show what happened. For example, you tell what the speakers talked about, but I am also interested in hearing some actual dialogue. I'm also interested in the reactions of students as the presentation unfolds.
Overall- this is pretty solid.
Chibundo Egwuatu
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-OM06
Thursday 1:30pm-2:45pm
Field Note Assignment
March 28, 2013
5:30ish PM, Sunday, March 24th, 2013
Hare Krishna Temple
Beads, Flowers, Freedom, and Happiness: Hare Krishna Participant Observation
This is my second time at temple; I went once before to survey for my options for my ethnography, after going to two on campus club meetings. I know another person in the club from high school (really, we went to the same school for 4 months, never spoke, but I saw him at a crosswalk whilst on crutches, and was really in need in help so hence the friendly demeanor), and he takes me to temple. There was a tornado that touched down, so I wrapped one of my black silk scarves around my head (I own an umbrella that I repossessed after it was left in my office, however I am concerned with the possibility of it being malevolently inauspicious due to the misfortunate occurrences that happen whenever I use it). He seems taken aback when I walk toward the car, and I wave to confirm that I am in fact someone he knows. I mention that I look like an oil baron’s wife, to which he replies I can choose to be whatever I want. Temple starts at 4:30 PM according to the fliers, however the insiders who have given me rides know that 5:30 PM is much more accurate, and we arrive around 5:45 PM. I have never been this early in my long history of one previous temple visit, and I observe a part of the ceremony that I had yet to experience.
Last time I was here, I walked in while everyone was chanting and dancing, and no one turned when we entered. However, this time, my ride walks in through the door from outside the building rather than within it, making noise and pouring light into the sanctuary (correct term?). As everyone turns, I am so mad I can’t even, but I quickly pad over to the women’s’ side and awkwardly wedge myself behind Adaria, a woman I met during the last temple. We are reading from a relatively large white book bound by a white spiral of wire. I have never seen this book, and try my best to listen to maharaj, though it is a struggle, as the translated verse is sprinkled liberally with names and terms foreign to me. After this, we rise to chant (Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare, Hare Rama, Hare Rama, Rama Rama, Hare Hare). I’ve known the chant since my childhood, as the offspring of my nuclear family are musical fans, and I know Hair better than other children knew their fairytales. Even so, the chant is written on the wall. The microphone is passed around, first around the men then to the women, the men are much better at holding a tune than the women, it seems, and I am glad that the older woman who has taken authority over microphone privilege seems it fit to skip over me. After the chant, we read the vedas from the Bhagavad Gita, which I am not unfond of. A man is passing out cushions, and I offer them to the woman before me, who accepts it. No other cushion comes, but I can deal. After the readings and repetitions, we have discussion, where maharaj answers any questions on the passages. I am now convinced I am at risk of dying from a blood clot from sitting on my legs for so long, they hurt so bad, but I don’t want to attract attention so I adjust myself in increments of eternities. Once this part is over I am quite glad to stand. I look around awkwardly to pray the blood flow back into my extremities and I see the shrine, of lord chaitanya and his brother, pictures of avatars and gurus, flowers and incense. By the time I have finished inspecting, I have a clear shot out the door, to my shows, and to prasadam, i.e., the most delicious anything I am to ever taste ever. I sit with my ride, we discuss Tyler, the Creator, Earl Sweatshirt, and lyrical genius. Another devotee sits with us, and says we argue a lot, and this observation is so unnecessary and obvious, it makes me annoyed at his entitlement to have this unenlighted thought acknowledged, so I ask to get my phone from the car. Instead, we end up stuck in a conversation for 20 minutes, then leave after walking around the grounds.
ReplyDeleteChibundo,
DeleteThis is a most interesting observation of the Krishna Temple. Your writing style leaves much to be appreciated as it is a fine blending of concrete and abstract--enough detail to keep the reader aware of the surroundings but enough mystery to make it interesting. I particularly like your rendition of the chanting and the feeling of the blood in your legs clotting, and one of my favorite details is your use of the term eternity as in you adjust yourself in increments of eternities (this is a bit of a paradox because people tend to think of the term eternity it terms of time, but the term eternity is transcendent of time)-and in cases of extremes (like immense pain or pleasure) time is often transcended.
At the end of the piece, you render some interesting moments, and you seem to rush through this conflict that occurred. You are giving this conflict a misty quality, and I hoped to see some more concrete aspects of this discussion emerge showing clearly why it is so unenlightened to make an obvious point about your arguing with your friend.
Overall- well done!
What happened in this twenty minute conversation?
Rodrigo,
ReplyDeleteYou render some solid details in the opening paragraph, but there is room to crack these details open and make your narrative even more vivid. At one point you start to describe the music as preselected from a list of music that is non-offensive, but I want to hear the immediacy of this music. Is it pop, techno, or rock? You mention the cashier and the music as being powerful, but I want you to show me what powerful music sounds like and show me why this cashier is powerful too.
In the second paragraph, you render the conversation about how the shelves need to be stocked, but it would be even better if you put the actual dialogue in. Perhaps you should even include a bit of the Spanish (for effect) and then give a translation.
You are showing some things, but your details can be more precise and better developed.
Overall- this is a solid effort.
Kaitlyn Huber
ReplyDeleteEnc 1101 OMo6
I walk into South County and wave to the receptionist at the desk, Lacy. I did this so many times before, except this time I wasn’t carrying a speedo bag, getting psyched for a long swim practice. However, my coach made it known that alumni are always more than welcome to come back and visit. I called ahead of time letting him know I was coming to collect data for a project I was working on. It wasn’t uncommon for me to visit. I did so every time I came home for a long weekend or had a break from school. My former coach, Jeff Cain, was excited to hear that I would be writing a paper that had to do with the swimming community, specifically his team. I show up while the swimmers are stretching in two rows with my coach reviewing the sets for today’s Friday practice. I pull up a chair next to him, take out paper and pen, and start to observe.
I start reminiscing, thinking of past memories when my friends and I would all stand in the same rows and dread practice together. We would all laugh and procrastinate as long as we could before jumping in the water. Watching the team stretch is probably the most interesting part of practice. It is when the swimmers communicate the most. Most of them being in high school, they talk about their days while doing arm swings and wall sits. There is one member leading the stretches, making sure the team is staying focused and keeping up. I hear words like “main set” and “fly” which are not unfamiliar to me. I understand that the swimmers are contemplating what the “main set” of practice would be which is typically the longest and most difficult work out of the night that occurs in the middle of practice. They also are talking about dreading tonight specifically because it happens to be Friday fly day. “Fly”, otherwise known as butterfly, is commonly known as the hardest stroke. It is certainly the most draining. I talk to senior Andrew Moran who is leading the stretches who is fond of fly and considers it his best stroke. He puts on his best face, being the team captain, to help others get excited for practice. He assumes a major sense of authority, something that could be compared to Wardles article, for being the leader of the team.
I quickly turn back to the reason why I’m here. I think about what the actual goals of this community are. After talking to a few members of the team, I conclude that there is a lot a young adult can learn and achieve from being on a competitive swim team. Common goals include: making certain cuts, beating personal bests, and moving up rank within the team.
There are many different qualifying meets for swimmers. The most important according to the swimmers I have talked to today are senior champs, sectionals, and Olympic qualifying competitions. “Practice makes perfect, and that’s what I’m aiming for.” says junior Katie Moran, who is training hard to make sectional cuts. All of the swimmers seemed to agree on one thing, personal bests are the priority. This is something I remember as alumni of this team. Making cuts and beating members of other teams are all great accomplishments but they don’t mean as much unless you improve your own times. I heard a few swimmers talking about this while stretching. They refer to “personal bests” as “PBs”. Improving within the team is a shared goal by many younger swimmers. What I mean by this is training to swim on harder intervals with less time to complete difficult sets. Thirteen year old Katria Kaas explains that she is in what is called the “beginner blue fins” and is working hard to move up in ranks to swim with the older members of the team.
. After speaking with a few of the swimmers and collecting basic information about the society within the swim team, I pack up my things and leave them to their practice. I combine the data I have collected and look forward to coming back to continue my research.
Kaitlyn,
DeleteYou do some things very well here, and I am most impressed with what you did in your second paragraph. I love how you use a bit of internal monologue from your past as you reminisce about being at practice, the immediate moment emerges and starts to unfold. This is done masterfully, and quite skillfully, and the sense of what you do here really demonstrates the power of certain moments to evoke memories.
You also delve into some of the readings from class here, and though I wanted you to save this for a later part of your ethnography paper, it is still decently executed (though you will want to show more clearly how you can use Wardle as a framing mechanism to help you say more.
Overall- I enjoyed reading this piece.
Amanda Cramer
ReplyDeleteENC1101-OMO4
TR--9:00am-10:15am
Field Notes Assignment
March 18, 2013
6:00P.M., March 27, 2013
Documentary and Website Viewing
Miss Representation
"We Can Do It"
Miss Representation Observations
I enter the community with fierce passion for what's at stake. There are others there too, oozing with strong determination and headstrong demeanors. I can feel something in the air that's simply incomparable to any other community I've entered. Everywhere you turn, the bold shouts of feminism flash into your vision, fill your ears, anticipating your resulting actions like a breath held in anticipation. The faces are unfamiliar, but yet I have never felt so familiarized by the sounds of their voices, by the triumphs in their expressions. I experience the sense of unity to each and every individual standing among us, to each mind itching to speak up, to release the pains and struggles of societal doubt and to evoke revolution among the skeptical onlookers. They speak of inequality, of heartache, of longing to be treated humanely as a human, a peer, a friend, and a relative. They speak with hopefulness in their voices, expecting the compassion of society to boil to the surface and spill substantially upon the concrete of our merciless kingdom.
I remember the days when my words were words that stood alone, backed up by only the logic and mindfulness of myself. Those days were the harder days, because I had felt as if my fight for equality were defeated long before it had begun. It was as if I had words confined to my mind and mouth that were beating at my insides to break free from suppression, but had yet to encounter the opportunity in which they were welcomed. I don't long for those days, for these days provide me with the genuine potential for change. I don't stand alone any longer. I stand among an army of activists willing to redefine the building blocks in which our society continues to stand.
These individuals strive for a right for women that has long been deserved but unfortunately not given: the sense of respect within our society. The media makes women out to be sexual objects rather than actual individuals. In order to target the male audience, women often fall through the cracks in the sense that they become a product to further an actual product. More often than not, women are the one's objectified within our society, but regardless of the name, Miss Representation works toward the respect and equality of both women AND men. It is this perspective that leads the audience to the understanding of what true feminism is. Feminists are not a group of women that have determined that they want to join forces AGAINST men. Feminists are people that advocate change of the representation of women within our society, making the public aware that the capabilities of women are equal of that of men, and that women are not "second-class citizens" as they are treated by the media.
Amanda,
DeleteAs I read your piece, I couldn't help but be inspired by your passion for the cause of women's rights. From the first key stroke to the last line, you are bringing yourself to the page in an impassioned and deliberate way.
While I love the passion, I am lost when it comes to what exactly happened at the Miss Representation meeting. I don't get much of an inkling of what occurred there, but I do sense that you have found a group of people who are passionate just as you are.
Overall- I want the passion to continue, but when you write your next field report, you should consider showing what happened at the meeting.
The life of a softball player
ReplyDeleteNotes on the everyday life of a college athlete
Once I get to the softball fields I feel like I am at home. I walk in and get greeted like I have been gone for weeks. The coaches ask how my day is, and many other questions about grades and anything they can think of. As I walk further in to the building, I can hear my teammates playing music and getting treated by our trainers. When I turn the corner they all yell “Hey Jazz!” I reply back and say “Hey Guys!” then they go back into their conversations. Our trainer, Olivia, asks me if I will be getting treated before practice and I say yes. Before getting treated we all go into the locker room and get changed into our practice clothes. This is where all the conversations get crazy; you can only imagine what is being talked about between 23 other girls. Our conversation went from talking about homework, to talking about guys in our classes, to what we are going to do this weekend. When I finish getting dressed I go back out into the training room to do treatment. There are a few girls out there, Sam, Farrah, and Maddy. They are discussing a test they have taken this week and how difficult it was. Olivia is finishing up with Sam, she calls me over and tells me to hop on the table for ultrasound; this helps my swelling go down. I sit on the table for 5min while she is doing this and giving our other trainers, Rachel and Chris, orders on what to do with Farrah and Maddy. We talk about anything that comes to mind, today was about mine and my roommate’s new kitten. She had me show her pictures of him and then she went on talking about her pets. After my 5min were up, she wiped off the gel and sent me off to practice. Before practice we are all goofing around and playing jokes on each other, but once it comes time to get serious all the joking is put aside. We all know what we have to do once we get out on the field. When we get a break this is when we start goofing around again; only time in practice that we get a little lead way for messing around. We all talk about our upcoming opponents or how we performed the night before. No matter what we always talk about softball while we are at practice with the coaches around. When our break is over our laughter and joking around is over as well. We get back into a competitive mentality. Today we start off with defense, we work on our foot work and communication because that is the most important part of the game. When there is a fly ball hit in between middle infield and the outfield we all have to make sure we are on the same page when going for the ball to make an out. When the person calls it we yell “BALL, BALL, BALL” so that the other fielders know I have it. When I call the ball the other fielders yell my name to show that it is all mines now. Communication is the biggest part of softball, most of the time it is what wins games, besides hitting and fielding. Other form of communication that goes on is when we are playing offense.
Today we hit off the pitchers, being vocal here is a very important thing. We are always being loud and cheering for our batters. In practice we anything positive so it encourages our hitters and settles them down in the box. Being loud and cheering for each other is what gains confidence and helps us focus on the game and the win we are trying to get. After practice we clean up and we all get in a big circle and yell "KNIGHTS" to end the long day of hard work. I talk to a few teammates and ask them how they socialize differently at softball rather than outside of it. They say that they feel more comfortable talking to the team because of how it feels like a second family when they get here. With other friends they can’t say something because of not being able to trust them, but at softball we each have each other’s trust and know that everything said will stay within the team. I agree with this 100% , this is a family and everyone is welcoming and comforting because of all the time we spend together.
Jessica Shevlin
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-0M04
What are they saying?
As I sat down at the white clothed table, I seem to come back to a familiar place but with a different feeling. This time, it feels like there’s something new going on. As the class begins, the Rabbi poses a question: “Does every life have the same value?” Student’s hands begin to shoot up like rockets into the stratosphere, as their opinions on the question are answered one by one. Looking across each table, there seems to be a familiar feel, of a group of people that I’ve sat with before, but on a different day. Usually, I sit in this chair at this table for Shabbat Dinner on Friday nights, or for special Jewish holidays. However, this setting that I’ve found to be completely religious based now has an educational feel to it; a feeling I can compare to when I sit in a classroom at school. As the discussion continues, we are leading into several other topics of existence, such as abortion and life support. As we all bicker about our opinions, the Rabbi stops our discussion and tells us why he asked the question: to tell us how the Jewish faith responds to this, and why. He then recites several versus from the torah, all in Hebrew, perplexing many of my friends and I due to our lack of Hebrew literacy. Thankfully, the Hebrew stops and we start tying our discussion in Hebrew to the discussion of ethics when deciding if the statement of ‘every life being of the same value’. After we discuss with this topic with several inputs of opinion, I internally recall where I am and what I’m doing here, my existence. In this class period, I have learned that the Jewish people value every life as the same, no matter how you got there or what you have become. This is true about my current situation and myself. I was enrolled in this class of the Sinai Scholars because of my interest in topics such as these, and I truly think it’s enjoyable to hear about the Jewish perspective on social matters. Then, I remember that I also truly enjoy this experience at the Chabad house, where the Chabad Student Group holds meetings, classes and events. This is where I have found a place to practice my religion, while at the same time discover the interesting aspects of incorporating the values of this religion into my life. I find that through this class time of two hours, and through the other times I am involved with this group, it interests me more and more each time; it gets me thinking about how to pose these types of questions upon myself on a normal basis, and continue to further my interests and questions.
Kelly Costa
ReplyDeleteENC 1101-OMO4
TR- 9:00am-10:15am
Revised Field Note Assignment
April 1, 2013
8:00am, Monday, April 1, 2013
Horizon Elementary School, Port Orange, Florida,
Mrs. Costa’s 1st Grade Class
A Regular Morning
All the Noise Noise Noise:
Notes on Observing a First Grade Class
As the class strolls into the classroom on this early Monday morning, after Spring Break, some of the kids seem to be a little tired. They were probably staying up late or went on a family vacation over the week. They walk in, put their backpacks on the hooks, and sit at their desks. The first thing I notice that is common about all of them is that they are all wearing short sleeved shirts and shorts, it must be a warm day today. While the kids are getting settled in, one child is still walking around talking and distracting the other kids. He must be one of the more naughty kids. I decided to get up and walk around to get a better observation. I notice that the kids all have a word search on their desk that they are working on. I looked back over to the teacher and notice her fiddling with the TV, trying to turn the school’s morning news on. Maybe that will settle all the kids down fully and prepare them to listen. I am sitting on of the chairs around the teacher’s desk and hear one little girl talking about how she caught a 50 pound fish over the break. I think to myself she must be exaggerating because that little girl is no more than 50 pounds herself. Once the news is over, the teacher confronts the class to tell them what they will be doing today. However, I do not think many of the kids are paying attention and therefore will not know what is going on today. I look over to my right and notice a pile of dice on the teacher’s desk; she probably has a math game planned for later involving the dice. I am looking around the room and suddenly get a smell of stinky feet. I crinkled my nose and realized someone is probably wearing dirty socks today. After the teacher stops talking to the kids, they go back to their word searches. The teacher walks across the room to a kid that I noticed has had his head down since he walked in, by the looks of it he does not feel well. Now the kids are splitting into their groups to do centers for a while, one little boy is walking around like he does not know where to go. After being out for a week he is probably having a hard time remembering where to go. The teacher tells her reading group that they are going to do word building for their center today. The kids cheered so it must be a fun activity for them. Suddenly I hear an alarm coming from the teacher’s timer. I assume this means it is time for them to switch centers. I decide to look around the classroom and notice on the white board a group of animal names with tally marks under them. It seems like a point system so the kids can earn points as a group. While the teacher is with her students another teacher comes into the classroom and tells her to check her Email. She immediately looks at her Email, so it must have been urgent. The kids are doing more centers when the teacher stands up and tells them to grab their lunch boxes and line up. I find it quite early for them to be having lunch since it is only 10:15am. On their way out each kid gets a squirt of hand sanitizer in their palm. Once they are all gone is when I realize how loud it has been all morning. It was a nice silence after a crazy morning. About 10 minutes later the teacher comes back with her lunch to sit with me. I bet she enjoys this break while someone else watches the kids. When the kids come back they say they got in trouble at lunch, which probably happens a lot. As they get back to work I hear the sound of a crinkling chip bag. One of the kids must have snuck some food back. A minute later I hear the teacher tell someone to go change their color card to yellow. They must have gotten in trouble for something. The teacher then says they are moving on to their next part of the day, math.